Amazing Race
Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: B
Everything Flo's downhill from here

In a voice-over, Ian explains that he and Teri can be "hard on" each other, but he insists that it works just fine for them. Well, of course it does. That's why they're so happy all the time -- everything's great! Seriously, hearing him say "it works in the dynamics of our relationship" is all well and good, but it doesn't change a damn thing. They can still stay as far away from me as possible.

Derek is preparing to jump, and fortunately, he does seem to have a harness on now. I really was hoping the Velcro socks weren't all that was standing between Derek and certain death at the bottom of the gorge. He jumps. It's nice that the jump is so big that he actually has time to yell "Holy shit!" on the way down. Derek, in short, has a lot of time to dilly-dally while he floats downward, because 620 feet doesn't go fast, no matter how freely you let gravity operate on you. And at the bottom? "Woooo!" You knew it was coming. Back up at the top, Drew comments that he has to go now, because Derek went, but it's "a long ways down."

Speaking of Flo, she and Zach are on the trail of the goats. They and the Bald Snark find the place with little difficulty. Zach thinks that they can get the Detour done fairly quickly. "I love goats," Zach says. Is it wrong that I love Zach a little bit? At any rate, music that seems to have been inspired by that horrible Gary Glitter song from every baseball game in the history of ever starts up as the teams go to chase the goats. (Goats: "Aaaaaah!") Many amusing goat close-ups follow. Interestingly, these are curly-haired goats that look more like sheep to me, because I mostly see goats at the state fair, where they're usually the short-haired kind, I guess. Someone with a finger on the editing equipment who doesn't like Flo sets this up so that she says, "Hi, babies!" and the goats all scatter. (Goats: "God, shut up.") The goats aren't all that hot on being stalked by strangers, so they comedically attempt to get away. It's a good thing their legs are so short, because the racers are really not spry at this point.

Bridge Of Death. Apparently, after he was finished, Derek was brought back up to the bridge again, because he's now encouraging Drew. Derek tells Drew to "own it." Whatever that means. Whatever it is, it sounds like football practice. Or possibly a porn movie rehearsal. Derek voices over that although he was being reassuring to Drew, he actually was feeling pretty concerned that Drew might not do it. Will Drew jump? Well, we've already seen him make at least one self-destructive decision that could lead to pain and screaming, so I suppose he might well make another.

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Amazing Race




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