Amazing Race
Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Everything Flo's downhill from here

In the Bald Snark cab, Gerard talks about how nice it was to talk to his wife. We did see Kenny and Gerard's parents, so I don't know if they talked to Kenny or not, but I suspect this conversation might be subject to the same dynamic. Gerard looks at pictures of his kids, who are really cute. Aww. In the FloZach car, he comments that he said he loved his sister a lot. Aww again. Flo says she told her friend she loved her a lot, too. Aww yet again. They talk about how buoyed they feel. Boy, I bet Flo is going to have an awesome attitude for the rest of this whole day, don't you think? Let's watch!

An oompah band follows Teri and Ian into the goat enclosure, where they work on the goats. Teri tries "baaa"-ing at one of them, which confuses it so much that she is able to grab the key. They go and open the clue and the phone. As they walk, they make the call. Teri's sister Phyllis answers, and the conversation between Teri and Phyllis is exactly what you would think it would be. "Hold on," Phyllis says, "Say hello to Brandon." Brandon, who looks a lot like his parents -- both of them, interestingly -- takes the phone, and immediately turns away from the camera. He excitedly says hello to Teri, and then Teri tells him how much she loves him and hands him over to Ian. "Hey, dude!" Ian yells. Yeah, yuck, but...I call my dad "Crablegs" and he calls me "Trashbags," so who am I to complain? (It's a long story.) Brandon happily greets his dad. You know, people have chattered a bit about this kid's behavior this week, but I really think he's just nervous and excited. He's got the TV, and he misses his mom and dad, and he's stuck there with Aunt Phyllis, who you just know is not fun at all, so...on second viewing, I think he's just nervous. His brother takes the phone next, and much more the way you would expect from a teenage boy, mumbles everything. "Love you too," for example. Heh. "We're behind, I love you, bye!" Teri yells to him. I think that's funny for some strange reason. They hang up and leave for the Chateau, talking in their car about how proud they are of their kids. Which is fine. As I said, if they're going to be decent at one thing, it's good that it's their kids and not, like, talking to the dry cleaner.

The drunken cameramen careen over to Lake Geneva, where the ship awaits. Jill and John Vito have ridden the FF straight there, and now it's time for them to find the paddleboats. But before that, Jill has to touch up her lipstick. "I like to look pretty for Phil," she remarks. "You never know what it might get me." Oh, I hear you, Jill. I think that every day when I get up and brush my hair. They jump out of the car at the paddleboats and hop into one of the boats. They start paddling out toward the ship, a trip that really does look quite pleasant. When they get to the boat, they proceed up the stairs to the deck where Phil is standing with the mat. Congratulations, Jill and John Vito, you are team number one. And instead of a toy camera, we have decided this week to give you a week-long cruise, on which we suggest you wash your hands frequently and wear surgical masks, if you know what we mean. They hug. Aww.

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Amazing Race




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