Amazing Race
Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]

The new and more expressive Amazing Green Line and Amazing Blue Line -- with the former marked "Express" and the latter marked "Local" -- streak across the map to Buenos Aires, with the Express catching up as they approach the city. Somebody has really been tightening up those map graphics, and as dweeby as it is of me, I do really appreciate it. I just wish that on one of Charla and Mirna's flights someday, they'd put the words "God = Co-Pilot" next to the line. Anyway, just as the Local and Express lines hit the dot on the map, the music bumps us into Buenos Aires, where the Slow But Early bus is the first to get into town at 7:52 AM. They all run for taxis, and the subtitlers help Mirna out by asserting that she says, "We need to go very fast" in Spanish, when in fact, what she says is, "I need we go fast." See? She even gets favors from the guys in the subtitle department. But she doesn't need them, no sirree! Everybody in taxis.

The Fast But Later bus approaches town, and Brandon says that as they've been on the ride, they've started to wonder whether they have the best possible route to St. Petersburg. The bus arrives in town at 8:03 AM, and the teams jump off and head for taxis. Brandon and Nicole get into a taxi, and when the other three teams go to get cabs, they realize that they're already gone. Of course, this is no violation of anything, unless there was some "we'll all get taxis together" arrangement. In fact, the arrangement between those four teams is already over, considering that as far as we saw, it never consisted of anything except (1) getting on the bus together; and (2) booking tickets together, so that arrangement is complete. Everything they all agreed to do, they've already done. As a couple of mooks once explained to me, you really can't have alliances that last over any substantial period of time, particularly when the travel distances get long. Mutually opportunistic and...oh, never mind. In the taxi, Brandon explains that they're going to try at the airport not to let on to other people what they're doing. (Creepy Apparition of Mirna That Only I Can See: "Disgusting!")

Speaking of the airport, here are the Slow But Early teams fanning out at the counters. Charla and Mirna approach a lady at Swiss Air, who tells them that her flight is "completely full," but she agrees to give them "priority standby," whatever that means. Maybe Mirna told them she needs a psychiatristo. Bob and Joyce talk to somebody who offers them a first flight to Madrid. Elsewhere, the Moms and Twinkies decide to work together. A Twinkie voices over that they "love Linda and Karen," because they "play fair, [and] they play hard." They respect the line! They have good manners! They're not all obsessed with getting there first! Unlike...say...CHIP! That beast. They're still mad, you can just tell. Hee hee.

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Amazing Race




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