Amazing Race
Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]

The reaping of what Mirna just sowed begins in earnest as Colin decides to buy four sets of tickets for the bus, in order to "ensure that Mirna and Schmirna would not be on the same bus" that he and Christie were on. And honestly, as much as I'm generally not into the group ticket buying, he gets a pass from me on this, because yes, it is twenty damn hours on a bus, and Mirna is genuinely one of the most irritating people I have ever laid eyes on, and I would rather be set upon by fire ants than spend twenty hours on a bus with her. I don't even think this is about screwing her in the race; I think this is about her having just been completely rude to Christie, and his not wanting to have to share close quarters with her. Also, Colin likes to feel like he's building up chits with various teams he might seek help from later, just as he did when he was leading people to the airport last week. And buying tickets for four teams fills up the bus, so that's what he does. Colin chooses to give the other tickets to Marshall and Lance, Brandon and Nicole, and Chip and Kim. Oh, Mirna. Who needs a favor now, dearie?

Mirna now does another of her routines for the camera. Surprisingly, it turns out that she has no regrets. "I am so happy to not see that criminal's face for a while," she smirks, because being edged out of the better bus was totally her plan all along. "I can't stand criminals," she adds. Yeah, criminals. Wow. That is one unique set of values Mirna has working for her. It's like a movie trailer: "In a world...where Colin buying tickets for Brandon and Nicole is 'criminal,' but Brandon and Nicole buying tickets for Mirna last week would have been perfectly fair...a world where touching someone else's backpack is 'disgusting,' but it's all right to go on television and declare other people to be criminals because you don't like them...into this world comes a woman, her cousin, and thousands of angry fans with pitchforks." I wouldn't go see that movie unless there was a part in it where she got eaten by a bear.

Brandon mentions to the other teams in the newly formed Mirna-screwing bus alliance -- and incidentally, Chip and Kim should thank Mirna for her snotty attitude, since it pretty much secured their spot -- that since they're all together, they might as well research flights together. They all take off to go to a travel agency, since their bus doesn't leave until noon. Mirna observes to Linda that it's "smart" to go to the travel agency, and she claims that she doesn't blame them. Except, of course, for being criminals, because she can't stand criminals, so she blames them for that, I'm sure. ["And can I just add that 'criminals,' as disses go, is maybe one rung above calling someone 'a poopypants'? I mean, the hypocrisy and melodrama are one thing, but…it's not even a good snap." -- Sars]

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Amazing Race




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