Amazing Race
Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]

Colin and Christie arrive at the Palace of Vodka. Inside, we see dancers twirling madly, which is quite exciting. Although even more exciting is the guy who could clearly fillet you like a salmon and do the whole thing in time to the music. Colin is first to step up with his sword (Freud Alarm! Woop! Woop! Woop!) and get his shot of vodka. Tiiiip...driiiiink...done! Only one thing left to do as part of the ritual: "Woooo!" Christie says, waving her arms. Sigh. Boys make plans. Girls go, "Woooo!"

Hockey rink. While they're getting dressed, which is really too late to start getting all on about it, Nicole starts to complain, "I really don't want to do this." She goes on, preoccupied by doubts: "One drink is all we had to do." Noooo, no, no. Don't say "that's fine" in the cab and then complain later. If you're going to make a stand, you've got to make it at the right time, and once that time has passed, you have to cool your delicate jets. "I'm not kidding," she whines. "Look, we're committed," Brandon notes, given that they're already there and half-dressed. "Such an idiot," she mutters, but it's hard to tell whether it's, "You're such an idiot," "I'm such an idiot," or "I feel like such an idiot." Any of those appears possible.

Christie drinks the vodka, as Colin feeds her a constant stream of orders about how to do it. "Just put your mouth against it. Just hold it with your lips right now. Hold it with your lips right now. Hold it with your lips." And you can see that he's got his face about a foot away from hers. Oy. Back off, Creepy. You don't have to put hot breath on her neck when she's already got a sword in her face. She finishes the drink, a cymbal crashes, and the iconic and obligatory Furry Hat Guy produces their clue. Christie jumps up and down some more. Colin is occupied by being intense. Very, very intense. They scurry off to read their clue, which tells them to go to the Bronze Horseman, which Phil explains is a monument to Peter the Great. Well, he may have been Great, but was he INTENSE? They grab a taxi. Incidentally, is it my imagination, or is that the world's most obvious Camera Guy Shadow when they're showing the clue box? If it is, I think it's Joe "Freakishly Long Legs" McCall.

At the hockey rink, Nicole is still apprehensive about the hockey. "Have you ever ice skated?" Brandon asks her. "When I was, like, five," she says unhappily. She steps on the ice and immediately falls down. "You okay?" he asks. "Shut up. I don't even want you to talk to me." Heh. I can't explain it, but their fighting does not seem nasty to me at all. This is how any of my friends and I would fight in the same situation. In fact, if I did this with Sars (Best! Season! Ever!), we would totally have this fight at least once. "I can't believe you're making me do Explore the Reef." "I can't do Explore the Beef! I don't eat meat!" "Whatever. Send my remains to my mother, because we're going to die." So the way Nicole is bitching seems entirely minor, and I don't even think she's really upset -- not like in the first episode, when I do think she was unhappy that he didn't include her in the walk/taxi discussion.

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Amazing Race

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