Amazing Race
Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]

In Madrid, Marshall and Lance and Chip and Kim switch for their flight to Frankfurt. And when they get to Frankfurt, who do they run into? My, my, my, it's Mirna and Charla in the departure gate for St. Petersburg. It's like the famous collision in Copenhagen, with less kissing on the head and more hating. Well, more overt hating. Mirna, wearing a dumb-ass hat and thus completing her quest to be the most complete picture of an undesirable contestant ever, declares herself "ready to rumble in Russia." I'll give you "rumble," girlie. Bah.

St. Petersburg! New city, new country. Awesome. And what do we see in St. Petersburg? Well, snow, for one thing. It's reeeally snowy. It's like Minnesota in...oh, April. And we also see Colin and Christie, who are unsurprisingly the first team to make it into town. They get a taxi/van to take them to the battleship Aurora. And then, before you know it, there are Brandon and Nicole, following on British Airways. "Holy cow," Nicole says as they get a load of Russia. Hee. I love "holy cow." It's so homey. They get a taxi.

At the battleship, Colin and Christie arrive first and make their way up the icy walkway to the ship. They pull the clue, which is a Detour. The options this week, not given cutesy names at all, are Block 5 Shots and Drink 1 Shot. In a white winter coat, Phil strolls beside the battleship and explains about the Detour, and the choice between two tasks, and so forth. He claims that this Detour involves two activities that are "particularly Russian." In Block 5 Shots, you go to a nearby hockey rink, put on pads, and block five shots taken by professional hockey players. Now, you get to stand side-by-side in the goal, so...even with professional hockey players, it's not going to be that hard, provided you don't jump out of the way. Over in Drink 1 Shot, you travel a longer distance to a palace where you take a sword and perform what gives every indication of being a traditional Cossack fraternity initiation ritual, in which you balance a shot glass full of vodka on the blade of a sword. You then tip the shot into your mouth with the sword, without dropping the glass. Child's play! Don't make me do it, because I'm not as young as I used to be, but...child's play! Colin and Christie quickly agree on the vodka.

Brandon and Nicole read the clue next. "Let's go to the, uh, hockey rink," he says. As they walk, she says, "I'm thinkin' we should do the shot. "I don't think we should," he says. "Brandon, they're professional hockey players," she says. "We're blocking pucks!" In a voice-over, Brandon says, "I don't feel comfortable with drinking vodka." In what's clearly a separate comment (no echo), he says, "My faith is absolutely the most important thing to me. I want to live a life that's an example to others." Interestingly, nowhere in this other comment did he mention vodka, and I'd think the significance of "example to others" would completely depend, to me, on the context, of which we get none. In the cab, he turns to Nicole. "Let's just do it, okay?" he says, in a way that sounds like a genuine question. "That's fine," she agrees, blowing on her cold hands.

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Amazing Race

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