Amazing Race
Whatever It Takes To Win

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 4 USERS: A+
The Guidos are evil

In The Best Guido Footage Of All Time, Team Guido realizes that they've been not only matched, but in fact BESTED, by Fratilyesque under the direction of Kevin and Drew. It could not be more obvious, for what it's worth, that part of what's going on here is that Bill and Joe are sucking ego off of thinking of themselves as better than everybody else, and it just kills them to think that anybody -- especially people they consider to be uncultured buffoons like Shower-Fresh -- can thwart their evil plans. It's a sort of "They're beating us! Without French! Without a knowledge of red wine! Without being able to identify counterfeit art!" I think they would have taken it better if they were being kicked around by Rob and Brennan, frankly. Coming from bald guys with New York accents, they cannot take it. "Oh, my God, those guys got tickets," says Bill, on the verge of collapse. (TGOOOT, Part 8.)

Fratilyesque rejoicing. You know, this strikes me as a very good group. You've got some muscle, some brains, some wit, some just-plain-nice…and then there are the Frats and Momily! (OH! Free Cheap Compliment Alert! That was for bringin' me a beer.) Anyway, Emily is just about coming apart at the seams (eww, no, not LITERALLY -- shut up, Emily-Oglers, and that includes YOU, a-HEM) at her first official opportunity to be envied by the Guidos, and she busts out her very first full-on grin of the show, as far as I can recall. It's a cute one. You know, the general fact that they don't smile much came to my attention just lately. If, for instance, one of them had monster dimples, you might very well not know unless you met such person. You know, personally.

Bill and Joe, with their little luggage cart, seething. (TGOOOT, Part 9.) Hee! I want to watch two hours of just this. Just Team Guido, pursing its lips, narrowing its eyes, stamping its feet, and rolling that luggage cart around. That would be a great double episode. Can I get that on DVD?

Drew explains that the flight Kevin set up for Fratilyesque will have them to Rome three hours before Team Guido. Cut to Bill and Joe, moping. Hee, again! (Oh, and also, TGOOOT, Part 10.) Drew shows us a necklace he bought at El-Jem for his girlfriend, but he tells us that now the girlfriend will get something else (don't worry, Drew's Girlfriend, it's something "better"), because he's unloading the El-Jem necklace on the girl at the ticket counter. Aww, Drew, that's sweet! Ticket Counter Girl looks like she's going to cry.

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Amazing Race




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