Amazing Race
Whatever It Takes To Win

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 4 USERS: A+
The Guidos are evil

Karyn and Lenny on the mat, not looking concerned at all, which is what makes me think they know exactly what's coming. Phil explains that they've come in last, but this is a non-elimination leg. Now, there's been a lot of yakking on the boards about whether the non-elimination aspect was engineered to take care of the production difficulties, but anybody who saw Lenny and Karyn land on the mat yelling "Yay!" would, I think, argue that they knew. They try to look like they're getting info from Phil, but I honestly think they knew. Phil goes on to reiterate that they got a time credit.

He also explains that Guido and Danza both got a penalty for disobeying the clue about the train. It didn't change the order in which they get to leave on the next leg, but it tightened things up time-wise. Fair enough, I suppose. If anything, I'd think the penalty should probably have been worse.

And here's the post-mortem on the Flying Wedge. Nancy says she knows why people don't like American tourists, and expresses her embarrassment at having been part of that entire thing. I don't doubt it. Bill and Joe are excited and happy. Whatever. Rob says, "The fact of the matter is, Bill and Joe are a strong team and have a good chance of winning, and it's just a shame, because I think the things they do spoil the game." I often think that Rob's moralizing about the Guidos rings a bit hollow, but I think he has a point here. Clearly, no one at the airport had any fun, and it put everybody in a crappy mood all day, and it was most likely an actual dangerous situation that created a lot of stress. I know it's not a handholding thing; it's a race, but there is a line somewhere, which isn't just a line of ethics. It's a line about what kind of experience you want to have. If you were to get in the business of stealing other people's passports, for instance, then all anybody would be able to do was watch each other suspiciously. In this case, I do think the Guido behavior "spoiled the game," so this time, I'm agreeing with Esquire.

Drew says, "They're outcasts. They don't talk to anyone, they don't smile and have fun at this…" Bill: "It started with a verbal threat, 'I'll break your legs.' Very 'innocent,' I guess, if you want to say that, a parole officer telling me he's gonna break my legs." Now this is where I'd like you to remember that Bill laughed, patted Drew's arm, and pinched Drew's fucking cheek after Drew said that, so any attempt to pretend he felt threatened is just not going to fly. It's demonstrably false. "The guy's physically capable of doing it," Bill says. Well, yes, Bill. That doesn't mean he's going to. Joe chimes in: "A burly guy with a shaved head who you know works in a courthouse…" Give me a freaking break, Guido, with the revisionist history. "Two hours later," Bill continues, "he's pushing me and shoving me…" Man, I hope so. I'm sorry, but I hope so.

Back to Esquire. "Play hard, but play fair," Rob argues. "There's no need to try to sabotage other teams' efforts." Bill: "It's a sequence of violence, I feel. I think women experience this all the time." Oh, for God's sake, just when I thought Bill had bottomed out. Way to exploit actual violence to serve your own ends, you creepy-ass creep. And also, creepy-ass ass. Drew: "We want to win, and it's serious. It's for a lot of money. We want to win. But you know what? I'm going to be a gentleman while I win." Joe: "You tell us. Are our lives in danger?" And they can't even keep a straight face while they try to act afraid of Drew. Man, I hate these guys. We are in full-on Heroes And Villains mode now, particularly with the emergence of Fratilyesque, and I think you know who's who. Emily closes it out in style, explaining that Bill and Joe are "the oldest people left," and she'd expect them to have some manners. "I'm twenty-one," she says, "and I have more manners than both of them combined." She's right. Rock on with your bad non-braided self, Miss Emily.

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Amazing Race




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