Amazing Race
Whatever It Takes To Win

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Guidos are evil

And here it is: The Great Flying Wedge Of 2001. As Fratilyesque approaches their departure gate, the Guidos go in the same direction. "As we see them come, we're gonna stop," Bill tells Joe. "Put your tickets away so you can't find them." (This is, of course, because their tickets would quickly show that they are on Swissair and have no business being at the gate where this flight is going to take off.) "It might just be one or two minutes, so let's just hold them up," Bill schemes, apparently planning to cause Fratilyesque to miss the flight. Need I point out that this is obviously TGOOOT, Part 14? It should count several times, but I'll only count it once.

Tense music plays as the confrontation approaches. "Okay, here they come," Bill says. And then again, "Okay, here they come." If this weren't such bad behavior, it would really be rather funny, actually, given how Bill is all Boris-Badenov-y, hovering and looking over his shoulder so that he can be really, really wicked by -- getting in the way with his luggage cart! What a brilliant plan! Anyway, Joe and Bill wave people through past them until Fratilyesque gets there, and then they wedge into the entrance. As much as I'd like it to be amusing, it isn't. I don't know what security is like in the Tunis airport, but I certainly wouldn't pull this shit in any American airport. Pushing and shoving at an airport gate, creating chaos, inciting an actual scuffle? That is INSANE. And it's not really very crafty, because as soon as it becomes clear that you're creating an incident, they're going to hold the plane for the people behind you who are hollering that you won't let them pass. (You'll note that Fratilyesque made the plane.) Anyway, not quite noticing the situation yet, Drew kisses Necklace Girl goodbye (but only once -- Dre-ew!) and they head for the gate. Now, the battle is on. You hear a lot of "what the hell are these guys doing?" and "what the hell?" and then I think it's Rob, with "they're hacking on the cops," and if that's true, then they're even bigger idiots than I thought. Kevin: "You guys are gonna get punched in the face. Or arrested, one or the other." Sing it, Kevin! Emily is in tears, so clearly something pretty significant has gone down here.

And then, through the magic of editing, it's over. Kevin's voice: "Come with me, come with me, okay, merci -- here you go, here you go, Emily, Emily, here!" (From this disjointed dialogue, you can tell that Kevin is the guy you want with you in this situation, more than obviously.) Through the entry, Fratilyesque make their way toward the flight. We get a three-shot of Rob, Drew, and Emily, talking to the camera. "It's just ridiculous," Rob says. Emily: "I mean, security everywhere, they're pushing people, screaming…" Rob: "They go so far as to step in front of Nancy and actually physically prevent her from moving." And that? Is just sad. Rob, again with the "just ridiculous." No kidding. "I'm really disappointed in them," Emily goes on. "I can see them doing that to other people, but not to my mom." In case you're wondering whether they really pushed Em's mom, look at her face here. She doesn't know what to say. They pushed her mom. Drew: "Why didn't they push Rob, or me, or Kevin?" Rob gives the hearty "word," and chews his gum like he would do anything for a heavy bag right about now. (Sounds impossible, but if you have it on tape, look at the gum-chewing. It's the angriest gum-chewing EVER.) Em: "They're probably scared of you all." Beat. Rob: "They should be now." Ooooooooh, Rob's busting out The Arm That Stomped Tokyo!

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Amazing Race

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