Amazing Race
What If It Isn't Sanitary?

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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At the Stockholm Sheraton, semi-smooth semi-jazz plays as Gus and Hera start to leave for the tower. Hayden and Aaron, Kris and Jon, and Spazpants are just waking up. And according to the yellow captioning, although you couldn't prove it by me, Victoria wakes Jonathan up by saying, "Wake up, Boo Boo." The notion of someone calling that man "Boo Boo" is so revolting that I am forced to immediately take six giant Tums, grind them up in a glass of tequila, and gulp the entire thing.

Over at the tower, at 7:00 AM, Hornio and Nuance are the only teams there when the gate opens, and they go in, very curious about where the teams ahead of them could possibly be. Rebecca says, "Anything could have happened," but even she is probably not contemplating that they frankly didn't give enough of a rat's ass to walk across the street and look at the sign. They climb to the top of the tower and find a clue, which tells them to fly to Dakar, in Senegal. "We're going to Africa," El Hornio notes with some excitement. Phil tells us that this is a 3500-mile shot, and there will be a clue waiting right by the airport when they get there. Rebecca celebrates the concept of Africa with the We're Going To Africa Hippy-Hippy Shake. Nuance is similarly excited. It won't last. Hornio and Nuance both get taxis to the airport, told that it's about a 40-minute ride. In the taxi, however, Kendra starts to fret about the fact that they should probably be taking the train, which even the cab driver says is faster than taking a taxi. As Freddy tries to ignore her, Kendra gets more and more exorcised over the fact that he "wouldn't spend the money on a hotel," but will spend the money on a cab over the train. His only argument in favor of the cab ride seems to be simplicity, and that is indeed a fairly weak argument, given that you really shouldn't be on the show if you're afraid of the complexity of...you know, travel. She's also showing some unrealistic expectations, of course, when she starts to gripe about having to sleep outside or "on some dirty floor." Hey! Sleeping on some dirty floor is a long and glorious tradition, princess. Don't knock it. If you're already getting grumpy about the accommodations, you're going to run out of steam much too early to win a million bucks. "You need to think before you make decisions," she declares.

In the Hornio cab, they're practicing their Bolo impression. Which involves clenching their teeth so as to "make [their] lips disappear." It's...you know, funny, but a little easy. It's like a comedian whose big move is an Elvis impression or a chef who says he makes a great New York cheesecake. It's hard to go wrong when you pick the easiest target.

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Amazing Race

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