Amazing Race
What A Gaucho You Are

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 3 USERS: A+
Horses, horses, horses, horses

Back at the Roadblock, Brian completes it and they go. In fact, he completes it in 33.75 seconds. He's almost 16 percent more competitive than a real Argentinean cowboy.

Uchenna and Joyce arrive at the airport at what is allegedly 8:30 AM. They get their 9:30 AM tickets, and Uchenna talks about how happy he is to potentially be so far ahead of at least some of the other teams.

8:34 AM. Ray and Deana. As they go, Ray talks about how they took the penalty, and he doesn't want to "be associated with" the "bottom-feeders." Could have eaten the meat, then, couldn't you, Whiny McBlowhard? I mean, take the penalty or don't, but when you're in the back because you took a penalty rather than do the task, you certainly can't argue you're too good to be there, I don't think. Ray says that he's "embarrassed" by their position, and then he's all honking at strangers and talking about beating "the old people" and all that rot. You know, when I watch him, I feel like he would benefit enormously from a twelve-year-old daughter in the back seat going, "God, Dad, you are so weird."

8:44 AM. Meredith and Gretchen. As they're on their way out, Gretchen talks about what a challenge it is to keep up with the young people. You know, with their short pants and their slang and the way the boys all look like girls.

8:56 AM. Patrick and Susan. Susan claims that being in last place has motivated her and Patrick. She says that they will "never give up." Evah! Patrick says that he wants to just "catch up with some people." Make a special note that he does not vow to never give up. Cue the vultures of foreshadowing! Awk, awk!

Rob and Amber are hunting around for the Cabana entrance when they stumble across it. Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I've relied upon that stroke of luck to get somewhere, I would be very, very wealthy. They go up to the Roadblock and Rob agrees to do it, saying that he has indeed ridden a horse before.

Ron and Kelly arrive at the airport at 9:00 AM. If you're watching the times here, it's very odd -- there is a ton of play in how long it's taking people to get places. Ron and Kelly appear to have finished the Roadblock not very long after Uchenna and Joyce, and they're getting here a half-hour behind them. Furthermore, it's not clear why it took Alex and Lynn and these other people better than two hours to do a 25-mile drive from the pit stop to the ranch in the first place, or why it would take all that long to get to the airport, particularly when we know a good chunk of it was highway driving with a speed limit of at least 40, for God's sake. There's 50 miles of driving in the part of this leg they've told us about, and then you'd add however long it takes you to do the Roadblock, and Ron and Kelly are getting to the airport four hours after they left the pit stop. Even if you assume they spent an hour at the Roadblock, which it didn't look like they did, they would be averaging under 17 miles an hour for the 50 miles of driving. These people are taking for-freaking-ever to do the driving on this leg. There's either a lot of stopping or a lot of getting lost or a lot of waiting for flocks of animals to cross the road.

At any rate, back at the Roadblock, Rob is hopping up on the horse as Amber laughs at him. She cheers -- loudly, with both lungs -- and he rides. He grabs the ring. They're done. "Baby, that was easy!" she says. "'Cause I'm a professional horse-rid-ah!" he says. "You look cute on the horse, babe," she says, wondering if they win another million, she should maybe buy a farm. As they're leaving, they note that it's 9:00. So it's now two hours after they left the pit stop, and they've (1) driven 25 miles; and (2) finished the Roadblock. That makes a lot more sense than the timelines for the other teams, so maybe it helped to leave later? I don't know. As they get in the car, Rob discusses the fact that he's hoping they can hop on the 9:30 AM flight.

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Amazing Race




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