Amazing Race
We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
To sleep, perchance to scream

BuffJon and Kelly return to the parking lot. "The idiots are back," he says with grudging enthusiasm. She adds that they're going to be really hosed if somebody else takes the FF before they get to it. "This is it," she says, channeling many racers past. "It's do or die now." A tuba is like, "Word. [OOONK!]"

In the Chipsters' car, things have hit an unexpected snag. It seems that they've taken an inadvertent wrong turn and found themselves headed in the direction of the Fast Forward. Rather than turn around and try to find their way back to the palm oil plantation, they've decided to -- dun-dun-dun! -- go ahead and take the FF. Man, this plot is so perfect that you couldn't have written it, because people would have called it too convenient. Elsewhere, Kelly explains in her car that they're going for the FF because it's really their only chance. The Chipsters, in fact, don't even look happy about taking the Fast Forward -- especially Chip -- but they seem to realize it's the best of the unattractive options (i.e. better than going back), so they are on the way.

At the palm oil plantation, Al and ClownJon are just arriving. They pull up and see a green wheelbarrow, so they go over to read the clue. It's the clue for this week's Detour. The choices are Chop and Haul. Both tasks involve what Phil hysterically refers to (probably completely correctly) as "nutbunches," which look sort of like pinecones, if pinecones were about two feet long and a foot wide. You are, by the way, very human if you can't help laughing every time you hear the word "nutbunches." Go ahead. Laugh now. Get it out of your system. You'll feel better. Say it a few times -- nutbunches nutbunches nutbunches. Anyway, in Chop, you use "local tools" (basically very long poles with blades on the ends) to cut bunches down from palm trees. Only one out of every four bunches has a clue in its attached envelope, however, so you may have to cut down several. In Haul, you carry twenty-five bunches (a few at a time) over to a truck. You throw them into the truck, and once they're all loaded, you can get your clue.

The clowns select Haul. Because they've grabbed a wheelbarrow marked "4," they put their nutbunches into the truck marked "4," following the instructions that say you have to load into the "corresponding truck." They quickly discover two things. First, the bunches have very sharp points on them and can injure your hands. Second, the back of the dump truck is already pretty full, so when you try to throw the things up and over into it, they'll often just roll right back off. It's like watching myself try to throw blankets up in the top of the closet. I usually wind up swearing into a face full of fleece, so I feel their pain. "Bast-ihd," ClownJon spits as he tries and fails to get one to go nicely into the truck. The easiest way to do this would be to get up higher somehow; I'm assuming that's not possible.

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Amazing Race

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