Amazing Race
We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
To sleep, perchance to scream

Millie and Chuck are still working on the Detour, and she has piled the wheelbarrow entirely too high and made it too heavy, so he wants her to take one of the bunches off. "Chuck," she says disbelievingly, as if she has any idea how heavy it is, considering that he's the one trying to lift it. Rather than taking the offending bunch off the wheelbarrow like he's asking, she just rearranges it, which of course does nothing to alleviate how heavy it is. "You have to take it off," he repeats. Millie! Is! Furious! "You are so stubborn," she says angrily, despite the fact that he is the one who has to move it, so how can she presume to say whether it's too heavy or not? Not to mention the fact that she is being at least as stubborn as he is in this situation. It's absolutely nonsensical, which is why I think she's just losing it. When they've wheeled the bunches to the truck, she says, "You go, you go, I'm going to toss them to you, you go." Eek -- they're full of prickers, and they weigh a ton! Toss them? Sensibly enough, he tells her no, not to toss them, so she hands him one, which he puts on the truck. The next one, however, she attempts to toss again. What is with the tossing? That isn't even faster. "Millie, do not toss those," he says, as she again puts her hands on the wheelbarrow because she is so frustrated with him. I think that among other things, she hasn't paid attention to how difficult it is on his end to heave them up onto the truck, so she hasn't noticed that you can't do it quick-quick-quick like she wants to. Chuck voices over that "the butting heads" concerns him as far as the underlying relationship. The thing is that that part didn't even look like butting heads -- it just looked like her being a pain. I have to say, they talk a lot about both being really stubborn, but usually what they're talking about look like situations where she's ordering him around and he's not compliant enough quickly enough. I'm sure he can be annoying in a hundred ways, but lately, he's seemed pretty reasonable, and she's seemed really obnoxious.

Anyway, they load their nineteenth bunch and take off with the wheelbarrow again. Millie tries to take a turn with it too fast and almost racks herself, which only adds to the sense that she's going completely around the bend. As they reload, the wheelbarrow tips over and dumps the bunches on the ground. She tells Chuck to just go throw the first one on the truck, and she'll bring the rest. Which is goofy, because again, that is not going to save time, really, especially given the fact that she's so tired she can barely stand up. Somehow, they manage to get the bunches back up to the truck, and as Chuck finishes loading them, Millie has maybe the saddest interview moment of all: "He is very resentful of any kind of order or instruction, and I drive him nuts doing that. And I've driven him nuts doing that for years." That's just so sad that in a situation where she obviously cares about him so much, she isn't able to just knock it the hell off. Wouldn't that be the thing to do? I mean, maybe with a guy you just started dating, it would take time to get the rhythm down, but...twelve years, and you're still doing something you know he's "very resentful" of? It's just...sad. It also rather astounds me that she would say this obviously insightful thing about how much he doesn't like it when she bosses him around, and also have complained so earnestly at the earlier pit stop that he doesn't trust her. How could she not get that he probably rebels against being ordered around, which may be what feels to her like he doesn't trust her? It's making my head hurt. Oh, and one of the nutbunches looks like it almost takes out the poor camera guy when it tumbles off the truck. I hope not. That would really drive up the workers' comp premiums, I would think, when a guy shows up with forty sharp palm nuts embedded in his forehead. Just try to fill out the insurance forms, too. "Nutbunch to head." Anyway, they finally finish the Detour of their discontent, so at least they can retrieve their clue. As they get into the car, he comments that they need to check the map, and she promises that they're close. "Just go back out to the main road," she says. "Out of the plantation?" he says. "Yes," she replies. Dun dun duuuunn.

Over at The Fast Forward Monkey House, Jon and Kelly are driving into the entrance. She gives him another quick lesson in pronouncing "orangutan," because you never want to meet new people without being able to pronounce their names, after all. She's closer to right than he is, but like most people, she makes the last syllable "tang" instead of "tan." When they get there, Kelly is out ahead of him walking up to the fruit baskets, where she finds a red card that says, "Sorry. Fast Forward taken." She passes this information along to BuffJon as he approaches. He turns around and starts back toward the car. "Oh, mother...trucker," he mutters. Wow, he's been bleeped so often this season that I'm surprised they haven't taped his mouth shut. Why the shyness now? Perhaps he's going for redemption of some kind. "So that's it, babe. We're out," Kelly says sadly. Blah blah blah...defeatism never won anyone a million dollars, knuckleheads, so get cracking already. Despite their depression, they get in the SUV and keep going.

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Amazing Race




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