Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Curse You, Red Baron!

Jordan keeps having parts of her getup falling off, with her helmet dangling from its chinstrap and a long length of foot-wrapping dragging in the dirt. "You gotta be joking right now, right?" Jeff marvels. I don't see Jordan's sense of humor as being that advanced.

Brent and Caite have found a clue box. The problem is that it's the clue box at the church, which they went to without ever seeing the U-Turn clue. Not that they see anything wrong with this. They continue on obliviously.

Jordan is now sitting in the middle of a field, trying to get her whole situation together, while Jeff waits impatiently, still holding both their rifles barrel-up, with the stocks braced on the ground. "Jordan!" he calls impatiently. "Don't talk to me now," she says. Totally deadpan, Jeff lifts up one if the rifles and mimes putting the muzzle into his mouth. Okay, that's funny.

Brent and Caite are off on their bike race, congratulating themselves on how well they did today. A little early for that.

Jordan and Jeff struggle to the battlefield. "Honestly, what's wrong with you?" Jeff asks his slow-moving girlfriend. Joe and Heidi are encouraged to see another team showing up, and in fact the feeling is mutual. Team BB11 starts weaving their long, green branches into the planted uprights while Joe and Heidi listen to more of that beeping sound that they'll be hearing in their dreams.

"Hey, baby, do I look hot with the little mustache?" Caite asks Brent. "Do you want to still kiss me?" Brent says yes, "But after the race, please shave it." Are we still talking about the mustache? They unload their bikes at the finish line, and are welcomed to Something, France. Phil tells them they're the sixth team to arrive, and they're glad to hear it. "However," he adds, and a drum thumps ominously. They're like three for five now on actually checking in properly. Phil tells them they didn't get their clue after the Detour. They exchange a blank look as Phil says they need to go get it before he can check them in. "Oh, my God," Brent says. Caite just stares at Phil gormlessly, precious seconds ticking away while the two teams still behind them inexorably approach. Okay, they're not, but they could be.

After the ads, Phil tells them they need to get the clue sending them to the bicycles. "Go as fast as you can." On the bike ride back, they're both persistently confused.

Joe and Heidi are still working to decode their message, as a bomb goes off close enough to cover them in dirt. "Jeez Louise, honey," Heidi complains, just like a real WWI soldier. Joe tells her to be calm. Elsewhere in the trenches, Jordan and Jeff are still working together to shore up the trench. Joe and Heidi decide to try "Victoire," and that's another swing and a miss for them. It's becoming increasingly obvious that they're just picking a few letters out of the mix and guessing the rest. Jordan and Jeff finish their Speed Bump, and Jeff leaves it up to Jordan to pick the Detour option, probably because he knows she'll pick the same one he wants to do. "I want to do 'Under Fire,' I don't want to translate," she says. They head off in that direction, unsurprisingly. Jordan sometimes has trouble translating spoken English into something she can understand.

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Amazing Race

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