Amazing Race
We Was Robbed

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James & Abba and Brent & Josh are still on their way. Brent says they'll be disappointed if they get to the first task and James and Abba are already there, because Brent still does not fully comprehend just how badly Team Metal has been skull-fucked with their glasses on. They're currently visiting a police station and asking if anyone has turned in the passport. But, as James explains to us, the Muscovite constabulary is insisting on a completed report, on a form that's printed in Russian. Fortunately they find a kid who's willing to come in and translate for them, I guess because he's got nothing better to do.

The goat farmers have reached the Roadblock and Brent takes this one. He talks about how he used to be teacher's pet and all that, which I have no trouble believing. After all of one try, the professor says, "I'm really sorry ...but you WIN!" Even while being handed his clue, Brent sucks up the to the teacher, saying, "I've always been a straight-A student." "You very smart man," the professor agrees and sends them on their way in fifth place. Josh points out the Speed Bump sign with James and Abba's faces on it. "So they gotta do this and that," Brent says.But first they gotta do the other thing, as we see them taking leave of their young translator outside the police station. "Now they have the information and they know where to find us and they'll deliver it to us," Abba says, And now back to the race. Such as it is, as far as they're concerned.

At the hotel ballroom, Abbie is in her element, acting as assistant dance instructor for Ryan at the Movers Detour. "I guess I have to respect that this is what she does for a living," he interviews. Why, how very enlightened of you, chump. They do in fact end up doing the dance way better than anyone else did, including possibly some of the actual Russian dancers and Ryan of course hugs and kisses the judge when they get their clue. Off to the Pit Stop for them. "Oh man, am I glad that's out of the way," Ryan says in their cab. Yes, now he can go back to being in charge, which worked out so well at the Roadblock.

Brent and Josh join the cocktail party and Brent says they knew they were ahead, "So we felt that we could play around and enjoy the experience a little bit." In other words, no way were they not going to work it. They quickly identify a Brezhnev by his eyebrows, a Stalin by his mustache, a Lenin by his pointed bard and three-piece suit, a Tsar Nicolas 11 and a Peter the Great. "Mr. Great, meet Mr. Stalin," Brent says to a couple of the guests. Josh dances with a Catherine the Great, Brent mock-fences with her brother Peter and they go into the next room to write down the number of each they met for the Alexander Pushkin lookalike: two Stalins, three Trotskys, four Catherines, five Brezhnevs, five Peters, six Tsar Nicolii and seven Lenins. I don't know what happened to Rachmaninoff and I think the race really missed an opportunity to bury them in Khrushchevs. Anyway, Pushkin gives them a rather impressed "Da" and their next clue, so they're headed to the Pit Stop in fifth place. They return to the party to thank everyone and drink their health. "Lovely for a dead crowd," Josh says. Wow, they killed that leg. They probably would have won it if only they could have started twelve hours earlier.

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Amazing Race

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