Amazing Race
We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
The Beauty Of Coming In Last

In Casablanca, the Pointies and A(AM!)s are in Casablanca waiting for the final connection, and they're obviously surprised not to see Dustin and Kandice. Obviously, they're all intrigued at the thought that something might have happened. Do they dare to hope? At 10:00, the flight carrying the *lyns lands in Casablanca. When they show up at the gate, they find the Pointies and A(AM!)s. Everybody speculates about where the BQs are, and they sort of can't stop talking about it, even after they all agree that they're spending too much time talking about it. Of course, as spring follows winter, the BQs wind up arriving in Casablanca in time for the connection. Not only that, but they swing some kind of special treatment (always helps to be beauty queens) and wind up on the plane before it even boards. Dustin takes particular pleasure in drooling over how happy other teams probably are that they're not there, which translates to yet another "we are awesome" moment of self-analysis that's becoming so painfully tiresome from her. Strong teams do not spend this much time talking about how strong they are and how afraid of them everyone else is. It's not that confidence offends me; it's more that this isn't confidence. It's just blowhardism. ["I think I'd be angrier about it if the other teams didn't repeatedly obsess about the BQs and essentially prove their point for them." -- Joe R] As they wait for other teams to board the plane, it becomes clear that seriously, there is nothing these girls like as much as they like gloating. This is the peak, I think, of the entire race for them, waiting for other teams to come on the plane and see them. Meaning that "the spirit of the competition" isn't really the point; it's more "the spirit of nanny-nanny boo-boo." The other teams get on the flight, and they don't really show off their disappointment too much, so Kandice has to start grinning and waving her finger at people to intentionally try to provoke a reaction, and Dustin just keeps giggling, because this is so hilarious. She's kind of treating it as if she's being greeted with some kind of hellfire of resentment, which... she isn't. I have to wonder if they're aware that people get on flights at the last minute all the time, and this is nothing that we haven't seen before. It's like because it's them, they think it's suddenly hugely important, where in fact, it's just one more thing that turned out not to matter very much.

Rob, doing a bit of shtick, fairly obviously, tells us in an interview that he was "literally crushed" to see the BQs on the plane. (Would have been interesting to see, though, Rob smushed to the thickness of a saltine.) He was hoping, basically, that the stupid move of taking an unnecessarily short connection to get to another connection would backfire on them, and it didn't. The amount of gloating that Dustin and Kandice pack into that scene is really... remarkable. It wouldn't bother me a bit if they had senses of humor about it and could admit it and were like, "We are going to rub it in their faces like you wouldn't believe," but what I can't stand is this above-it-all, snootified air that they affect, where it's the spirit of the competition and so forth. Rob Mariano is a self-satisfied dick, and probably the biggest gloater who ever gloated, but he's not going to lie to you and tell you he doesn't care about the money. He's going to tell you it's about winning. Ditto Chris and Alex and other famous gloaters who, because they weren't trying for style points, didn't look like such goofs when they did very similar things.

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Amazing Race




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