Amazing Race
We Got A Gnome! We Got A Gnome!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Happy Turkey Day

Rob and Amber arrive at a travel agency and ask for the quickest way to Istanbul, and they are cited the 8:45 arrival in Istanbul. Rob asks whether there's anything that gets there earlier, specifically asking about allowing for another connection in another city, and he's assured that there isn't. "We'll see if there's something else," he says, and he and Amber leave.

Uchenna and Joyce and Meredith and Gretchen go in to pick up their tickets through Dubai, arriving in Istanbul at 6:20 in the morning the next day. They head for the airport. Gretchen reminds us of the arrangements, and Meredith points out the two-hour advantage over the previously planned flight. Rob and Amber, then Ron and Kelly, head to Turkish Airlines, where they inquire about faster ways to Istanbul. They try to ask about the earlier flight, but they're assured that there's nothing. Kelly says she thought she heard Uchenna talking about a 3:30 Turkish Air flight, but I think she's missing the essential point that that's not a flight out of Delhi; that's the flight out of Dubai. Rob asks whether it was Uchenna who said that, and Kelly confirms that it was. "He has no clue what he's talkin' about," Rob says. He asks about whether Turkish Airlines has another flight out tonight, but I think that he's miscommunicating with the agent, because the agent is truthfully telling him that there are no more Turkish Airlines flights out of Delhi to Istanbul until the one they're scheduled for. Rob specifically asks whether there's a 3:30 AM Turkish Airlines flight, and the agent tells him -- correctly -- that from here, there isn't. As they leave, Rob says that indeed, it appears that the flight they have is the best flight.

The part of this that isn't quite as stupid as it looks is that he did pursue information at a couple of different places -- both the travel agent and Turkish Airlines -- where a better agent would have told him about the earlier option. But he got unlucky on that front, and that can happen, which is why it was so unbelievably dimwitted to provoke Gretchen with that "earlier flight" nonsense in the first place. Talk about shooting your damn self in the foot.

Uchenna and Joyce and Meredith and Gretchen leave on their flight, and Joyce mentions that they don't see Ron and Kelly and Rob and Amber, but they know there weren't too many ways to travel, so they're optimistic. When Rob and Amber and Ron and Kelly arrive, they don't see the other teams. Despite specifically knowing that Kelly overheard Uchenna talking about having an earlier flight, Rob has himself so thoroughly sewn into a cocoon of self-satisfaction that even not seeing the other teams at the airport doesn't provoke him to think that perhaps he's been outmaneuvered. Instead, he embarks on a campaign of karma provocation in which he talks about how Uchenna and Joyce and Meredith and Gretchen are rather pitiful help for each other. "It's like the blind leading the blind," he says. "You'd think at 65, 70 years old, they'd have a clue, but they don't," he says. And of course, they don't, given that there is no way Meredith and Gretchen would have found that flight on their own. No way. Still? There's no way to say that without looking like a dick, and when they're out in front of you, you look like a dick as well as a fool, and that's an unlovely combination, to say the least. Rob talks -- again, not incorrectly, but still dickishly -- about how Uchenna and Joyce and Gretchen and Meredith basically followed other people, namely Lynn and Alex, for most of the entire race, and now they're not sure what to do. And what's stupid about this is that Rob basically jumped in and played the part of a stronger person to lead those teams, only he did it by accident. They probably would have sat back and done nothing, had he not gotten them off their complacent asses himself. What a maroon! "They're stupid," Rob says.

Dear Rob: You amuse me much of the time, but boy, you really do deserve every bit of this. Kissy, Miss A.

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