Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!

And here come the next two teams: Gary/Mallory and Jill/Thomas, and they both opt for Bikes. Thomas tells Jill, "Try to keep up," and Mallory spazzes about how tricky the bike riding is turning out to be.

Brook and Claire arrive at the Detour clue box, and slow, wacky music plays as they decide on the boats. As they wrestle themselves into giant orange life jackets, Brook interviews about how this is pretty different from their normal lifestyle. "Can we go get a manicure while we're here?" Claire wonders. By the time they're on the boat, Brook is wondering why she has a long, blaze-orange tail, and Claire has to explain how it goes under her crotch and snaps in front. And these are the people who will be giving directions to the boat captain. I hope he wasn't planning on catching anything today anyway.

"Vicki just killed it," Chad says during the early stages of his ascent. Except just as she reaches the bottom of the bridge, she starts spinning uncontrollably for some reason, and the view from her body-cam of the bridge truss whirling directly over her head makes me almost as dizzy as she is at any given moment. Katie and Rachel are finally arriving at the bridge and spotting the boats down below, although Katie's more excited that there are other cars there. You're still in last, ladies. Vicki makes it back onto the bridge, while Chad is still hauling himself up and sounding like that Herbal Essences for Men commercial from SNL years ago, but both teams are done and off with their clues by the time Katie's ready to go. Although she remains confident that they'll catch up. Maybe they will, if someone else's mountain bike goes sailing off a cliff without them.

Michael and Kevin put ashore and have to climb from the boat onto a rock outcropping. It's not as easy as it sounds; they have to hold onto ladders and ropes to make it up the steep, slick embankment, with Kevin carrying the fish and Michael carrying the chainsaw. In an interview, Michael wittily explains that why Kevin smells so fishy. I thought that might be it.

The two teams currently doing bikes are in the off-road portion. Mallory takes a couple of spills on some icy rocks and decides to walk her bike along. She also says something in an interview that I can't understand, but because she's a blonde, native English speaker she doesn't get any Amazing Subtitles to tell us what she said. She tells Gary it's okay to slow down and wait for her a bit. As a result, Jill and Thomas are the first to reach the sign. "Does it matter what color?" Jill asks, trying to look thoughtful and actually looking the opposite. They read their code for yellow (4916), and the next thing we see is Mallory memorizing 5820 for red before she and Gary head back. Too bad that wasn't Nick and Vicki's combo; they could have remembered it as the number of feet in a mile.

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Amazing Race




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