Amazing Race
Triumph And Loss

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
Thank You India, Thank You Providence

Previously on Fear and Loathing in Tunisia: The Guidos got themselves the last seats on a good flight out of Tunis. Phil darkly suggests that they accomplished this by "speaking in French," but it honestly appears that French was not the relevant weapon so much as pure, unadulterated luck, which the Guidos wielded with their usual utter lack of grace. Furthermore, Phil also darkly suggests that Drew "lost his cool," but had the context of giggling and cheek-pinching been supplied, I'm not sure that description would have worked. Following this apparent setback, however, Kevin managed to maneuver Fratilyesque onto an even better flight. Guidonic Scheming followed, including an attempt to create a physical scuffle in an international airport. Fratilyesque prevailed in that skirmish, but it didn't matter, because the Luck of the Guidos managed to get the Fratilyesque connecting flight cancelled, and because once everybody got to Rome, there was more bunching. The next day, Bill said, "Good morning," and Drew told him not to. Everybody drove around in dippy little red cars that went "putt-putt," except for those who rode around in incredibly fast silvery cars that went "VROOOOOOM!" Oh, and Loud Pushy Frank? Wasn't. Yeah, I don't get it, either.

Credits. Music from the upcoming action-cooking film, The Parallax Omelet.

Commercials. Eat at Applebee's, pop Doctor Dolittle 2 into the VCR, and you may not have to talk to your children all day.

Drunken cameramen are this week careening around Santa Gata Bolognese, from which the lovely Sara from last week has long disappeared. (My guess? She is with Kevin.) We get a few shots of the twelve-hour pit stop layover, which unsurprisingly show everybody sitting together except Guido. Phil superfluously explains that the controversy continues to swirl around the Guidos (which is pretty obvious, unless the problem is that they smell, which I just can't believe is the case), and we go to yet more post-mortem of the world's most well-known luggage cart scandal, Departuregategate. Drew re-explains that Guido's intent was to block Fratilyesque's path to the flight. Emily re-explains that there was pushing of her mom, and incidentally, the way she describes it, it sounds like it was more of an intentional body-block of her mom -- a Guido backed up into Nancy to physically stop her from going forward. This would go with both Joe's delusional attempt to characterize the push as merely putting his pack in front of Nancy, it would go with Rob's description of their having physically gotten in front of Nancy and prevented her from moving, and it would still clearly constitute "pushing," as the other teams have repeatedly characterized it. Em, at any rate, says, "Do what you want to me, but don't hit my mom." She's "about to cry, [she's] so mad" trying to explain what happened. Rob: "The more I think about it, the more it fires me up. I mean, the way I was raised, somebody treats a woman that way, they get their ass kicked." Brennan, The Boy Who Never Gets To Talk, is with him all the way -- though of course he doesn't say anything about it. Sigh. Drew: "If you're a gentleman, you don't push a lady." Emily, crying while she tries to tell the story, says, "They pull this crap every single time." Nancy is actually trying to tell Emily that it's not all that bad, but I think you can see early signs here that our Miss Emily is unraveling a little. A jarring edit takes us straight to a grinning and cackling Bill and Joe, saying, "As well as we play the game, the temperature will keep going up." Man, these guys are bad characters, and the editors aren't doing anything to help them.

Brief sidebar. Look, I don't like fighting, and God knows there's nothing more boring than a guy you can't take anywhere because he starts fights in bars and at parties and so forth. Having said that, I have a good friend who once told me I shouldn't be afraid to admit that at some level, there's a certain basic appeal to "guys who fight and fix stuff," and in this case, it's true. I wouldn't have a shred of respect for any of the boys if they actually beat up the Guidos, but I sort of love them for feeling like they should.

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Amazing Race




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