Amazing Race
To The Physical and Mental Limit

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Climb, Paddle, Swim

Previously on I Find Reality, Reality Always Wins: The Frats, Esquire, Danza, Momily, and Guido were the five teams standing as the race bailed out of India. As the action moved to Thailand, Momily and Guido went for the Fast Forward, and the luck of the evil prevailed again, staking the Guidos to a lead they promptly frittered away by drinking iced tea in a cheap hotel in air-conditioned splendor while everybody else worked their asses off to get to Krabi. Unfortunately, the "working your ass off" part wore out the tired Momily who, having been a little psyched out, underestimated the Guidos' arrogance (it's certainly impossible to overestimate it), figured they had no chance at recovering, and gave up on the Detour, earning themselves a twenty-four-hour penalty that ultimately booted them and saved the shapely fannies of Team Guido. America frowned and swore. In other news, Esquire managed a first-place finish, Kevin and Drew slipped when they spent too long looking for a car, and Frank and Margarita fell in love all over again. In fact, CBS employees went door-to-door to the homes of every American, demanding proof that someone in every family has duly noted that Frank and Margarita have fallen in love all over again, and that every family has shared a warm smile amongst themselves about how unbelievably adorable those two are, with the trust and the friendship and the return to the Era of Good Feelings. Please, when they come to your house, tell them you get it. (That's if you don't just choose to tell them to get out. Now.)

Credits. Music from the upcoming gardening training film, The Tulip That Roared.

Commercials. Buy a Jeep. Everyone who really loves America is doing it.

We do not begin this week with the usual drunken careening cameramen, but instead with a series of relatively calm quick cuts. Finally, we settle on Phil "Don't Call Me Crocodile Hunter" Keoghan, walking up a set of ornate outdoor stone steps as he reminds us that long ago and far away, there were eleven teams, and now there are only four. Indeed, let us all pause to remember the dearly departed teams. Please bow your heads. We miss you, Momily. We hope you've stopped yelling, Team Kenny. We were just starting to understand you, Team Cockroach. It hasn't been the same since you left, Team Ensure. Sorry about the pendulums, Team Working Moms. Hope the French lessons are going well, Dark Hair and Light Hair. Matt and Ana, we hardly knew ye. But frankly, your absence makes the show a lot easier to follow. Phil goes on to explain that the remaining teams are waiting at Krabi's Tiger Cave Temple. (Incidentally, this temple is one of my favorite locations so far -- it's holy, but it also looks a little like the Playboy mansion, what with the lush pillows on the floor and everything.) Phil further tells us that the reason they're at the temple is that they arrived there at the end of the last leg. I'm so glad he told me that, because I was wondering what in the heck these people are doing in Thailand. Interestingly, Phil omits the usual yakkety-yak about how the teams have to find route markers, blah blah blah, clues in sealed envelopes, blah blah blah, Mysterious Soft Hands of Exposition Man, et cetera. Maybe van Munster believes that now, after ten episodes, we've caught on to the routine. He must have received my Big-Brick-O-Gram to that effect, which I had delivered directly to his desk through his ceiling.

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Amazing Race

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