Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Double-Tall Double-Short Crappuccino

Dennis and Andrew have gotten themselves a bit lost. Behind them, Ian complains about how slowly they drive, and how they should all have been at the pyramids an hour ago. Well, dude, you could have gone and taken the lead yourself if that had been your inclination. Again, I have to object to The Pitiful Whine Of The Follower. Of course, I guess complaining is more satisfying than just admitting that neither you nor the person you're following knows how to get where you're going. ["It is. Or, um, so I have heard." -- Sars] Whatever.

Jill and John Vito race toward the bus station, followed closely by Ken and Gerard. Gerard now reveals that not only does he call Jill "Rambette," but he calls John Vito "the Rock." Snerk. Not bad. I can just tell right now that I'm going to cry like a little girl when they're eliminated. The remainder of MeHugeYouTiny is hanging back with Heave, a bit behind the leaders.

Andre and Damon arrive at the top of the pyramid. They pull the clue and head back down, and as they leave, they run into Teri and Ian and Dennis and Andrew. (And also some people in nondescript green sweaters, but they have nothing to do with this show, so we won't talk about them. I certainly hope that the green sweater people enjoyed the pyramid, though.) Damon (I think) talks about how pleasant it was to see some other teams that were behind them, especially since they started the morning a half hour behind both of those teams. He specifically mentions how energizing it was to see Ian look so dejected. Yeah, I'm not sure Ian is exactly winning friends and influencing people, if you know what I'm saying. I like the little psych-yourself-up routine that Andre and Damon do as they walk. "Two!" "Two hours!" "Caught their ass and passed 'em!" It's cute. When they get to the van, they thank Fern-ando. (I think his name is actually Gustavo.)

Derek and Drew arrive at the museum to get the Fast Forward. The Head Volador (or whatever) shows them what they'll be doing, with the whole "fly through the air with the greatest of vertigo" idea. The less weird-looking twin (who I believe is Drew) comments that it might be worse than skydiving.

Tramel and Talicia must have struggled to get to the pyramid, because they get there and get to the top last. He encourages her on the climb, reminding her that down is going to be a lot easier than up.

Derek and Drew fly with the Voladores. They don't have to do it hanging by their feet, though, which makes it less likely that they will fall on their picturesque noggins, which sort of ruins the fun of it all. The way they do it, it doesn't actually look that scary at all. No worse than rappelling down a cliff. I've seen far more intimidating amusement park rides, and you have to do those after you've just eaten a wad of cotton candy. I have to say also that I'm constantly surprised that they look so skinny. They look a lot buffer in their widely-circulated naked pictures. Not that I've looked at any.

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Amazing Race




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