Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

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Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Double-Tall Double-Short Crappuccino

MeHugeYouTiny is still lost. Sucks to be that full of yourselves and then find out you can't get from point A to point B without a GPS device, doesn't it? Moreover, now they're stuck behind a lumber truck, at which Aaron starts honking. Loudly. At 6:00 in the morning or whenever it is. Very nice behavior, kid. I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it, and it's probably going to help a lot.

Andre and Damon comment that they're going to find a hotel and look for someone who speaks English who can advise them. This no-Spanish issue is turning out to be quite a handicap.

Dennis and Andrew. Dennis says that Andrew was right about the navigating, and he laments not having listened, because now he's gotten them both lost. Ooh, a little bit of a bittersweet parenting metaphor! Did you catch it? Andrew grimaces in the back seat, but he's clearly feeling pretty good about Dad admitting that he got one right.

Teri and Ian have taken a wrong turn also, and they stumble across Dennis and Andrew. These two teams -- the nice and the nasty -- form a mutually opportunistic and transitory alliance to get to the pyramid. Elsewhere, Andre and Damon adopt a local and take him along in their SUV so he can lead them to the pyramid. He promises he knows how to get there.

Tramel, meanwhile, is getting directions. When he gets back in the SUV, Talicia compliments him on how well he's communicating, despite a lack of Spanish. "I just took it back to caveman times," he says. "Point, grunt, smile." She laughs. Heh -- me too. I actually communicate that way a lot, even with people who speak English.

MeHugeYouTiny is finally approaching the pyramid, as Flo yells harpily at Zach. After they're most of the way there, Aaron congratulates himself for passing Zach and pulling into the lead. Yeah, way to go, now that you've relied on someone else to get you all the way to the sign for the entrance. When MeHugeYouTiny arrives at the pyramid, they are distraught to see that Heave has already arrived. You've got to give Heave credit -- they made up an hour on those fools. "Tell me you're not annoyed," Aaron snots to Jill, attempting to stir up trouble, despite the fact that due the operating hours, it made absolutely no difference, and despite the fact that had he wanted to, he could perfectly well have busted out his own damn map and navigated for himself. This sequence of mocking Zach, following Zach, and then bitching about Zach's driving strikes me as totally ridiculous. I don't know what his normal mode is, but today, Aaron's being a real whiner. Everyone stands around doing the Operating Hours Bunching Boogie for a while.

As dawn arrives, Andre and Damon and their personal Fern are finding their way to the route marker. At 7:00 AM, MeHugeYouTiny, Heave, and the Brothers Contrastamazov are sent through the gates and run toward the pyramid. Gerard says that as they climbed the pyramid (he says "ran up the pyramid," but unless you're using some pretty flexible definitions...uh, not), they were passed by John Vito and Jill, who he refers to as "Rambette." Hee! He comments that Rambette "looked like a spider" climbing up there. I'll be damned if he's not right. I think it's partly that, because she's small, she can get down and use her hands to help stabilize her on the steps. Jill I am starting to like. She seems to be able to be no-nonsense without being rude or obnoxious. Also, she looks like if you annoyed her, she could crush you like a bug, despite being about five feet tall. I also imagine that she might deliver a well-placed knee if you called her "spunky." She is first to the clue, and it tells her and Jon Bon Vito (as I said in the forums quite a while ago, I loved him back when he did "You Give Love A Bad Name") to get themselves to the San Marino Marina in Cancun. Cancun? Dude, what is this, the Club Med season? Phil tells us, though, that they are required to take a bus to Cancun, which is over a thousand miles. Okay, so I suppose the extended bus travel is going to make up for any luxury they're able to wring out of Cancun itself. Ken and Gerard get the clue next, and then the rest of MeHugeYouTiny and Heave.

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Amazing Race

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