Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A
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The trailers find their way to the Roadblock. Damon, Andrew, and Ian are your designated swimmers. First out of the water is Andrew (yay!), so they seem to get going pretty quickly. Ian is out next. In a rather bizarre moment, Teri reads the clue, and when she gets to the part about "last team to check in will be eliminated," she starts screaming like she's completely shocked. Has she seen this show before? Dang. Andre directs Damon to get back to wherever the other guys were when they found the clue, and this appears to be helpful in getting him the clue at last.

Jill and John Vito arrive on the mat in seventh place. Considering how badly they bungled the Detour, which in turn caused them to miss the ferry, that's really not bad for them. I also want to give a big fat point to those who make this show for the fact that we have not seen a single 9/11 reference since the first fifteen minutes of the show, and I appreciate that very much. I was worried about where they were going with this, and leaving it alone for this long gives me hope.

Andre and Damon, Dennis and Andrew, and Teri and Ian all take off in their Jeeps, heading for the pit stop.

It appears to be quite a bit later when Tramel does the dolphin swim, because it's thoroughly dark. In what appears to be dusk, Dennis and Andrew and Andre and Damon make their way toward the bungalows, as do Teri and Ian. Ian chews his gum anxiously. Next on the mat are Andre and Damon, at number eight. Tramel and Talicia anxiously drive the pit stop route as well. Andrew and Dennis make it to the pit stop next, very relieved that they're not eliminated.

They try to make this a very tense race between Teri and Ian and Tramel and Talicia, but I suspect it's really not this close at all. Tramel and Talicia were a full ferry behind Teri and Ian, and unless they picked up a lot of time, this is mostly tension created by crafty editors. Those crafty editors! Unsurprisingly, Teri and Ian survive as the last team to find safety on The Mat Of Destiny.

Tramel and Talicia trudge onto the mat. "We've been here before, Phil," she says. "Let us have it." Phil Philiminates them as gently as he can. Phil's little dramatic pauses are getting way out of hand. I understand about the suspense and everything, but...damn. These days, you can get up and get a sandwich between when they get to the mat and when Phil delivers the news. Anyway, "You've both been eliminated from the race," Phil says. "That's cool," Talicia offers gamely. "I wasn't even listening," Tramel deadpans. "You can tell us at the next pit stop." Tramel and Talicia proceed to be the some of the coolest Philiminatees ever, being kinda funny but also kinda sweet, with the "the victory isn't always in the win" and the "even though we didn't persevere to the end, we persevered to our end," and all of that. They confirm that they "had a blast," and they sign off. Aw, they were fun. Good show, y'all.

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Amazing Race

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