Amazing Race

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Going, Going, Goths

Vyxsin is only now finishing the Road Block. She gets her clue, and they're headed to Old Town, and the Road Block judge goes home from a much longer workday than he was probably promised.

The three lead teams -- Gary/Mallory, Margie/Luke, and Jet/Cord, are all trying to find the palace and just pretty much sticking to a strategy of going uphill wherever possible. Stairs! Uphill paths! Gong! Bell! And there's Phil standing in by the mat in a garden in front of the tower, with a Chinese woman next to him, dressed as what I can only assume is a traditional Naxi outfit. Luke and Margie come panting into view, and after seeing them welcomed to Li Jiang, Phil tells them they're the first team to arrive, and they've won a trip to Aruba. That's the good news. The bad news? They're still racing! It's another Pit Keep Going! "Nooo!" Luke says, seeing Phil reach into the back of his pants for their next clue. "Rip and read it, "he tells Margie, who says, "You don't know what I want to say right now." We can probably guess, but Phil just wishes them luck instead of responding, "So's your old man!"

Splitscreen. Kent and Vyxsin run back to the gondola as Jet and Cord arrive at the mat in second and are told to "keep on racing." Gary and Mallory! Ron and Christina! Kisha and Jen! Flight Time and Big Easy! Jaime and Cara! By now, the Goths are disembarking at the bottom of their gondola ride. They hop on a marked bus, still hoping against hope to still be in it. "The odds are against us, but the pink and black attack is ready," Kent says. Truer words were always spoken.

Justin is on the leading end of the horn, admitting that they're feeling rather lost. "Honestly, I haven't even really thought about Kent and Vyxsin. We're just trying to get this done and let the chips fall where they may."

I'm not sure Kent and Vyxsin are even thinking about themselves that much, because while riding on the bus, they've suddenly noticed that they are without their Amazing Purse. Oh, COME ON. Kent asks the driver to turn around, and Vyxsin confirms it as she searches through her backpack: "Kent lost the fanny pack." Oh, it's just Kent's fault? So then do you have the fanny pack, Vyxsin? Or maybe she's just so tired of being everything wrong with this leg for their team that she can't take the blame for one more thing. We see a black-and-white flashback of them getting off the gondola from just a few minutes ago, with their Amazing Purse still sitting on the seat as Vyxsin rushes Kent out of the car. Vyxsin tries to convey to the bus driver that they have to go back, but he doesn't seem to be understanding her. And anyway, it's a narrow mountain road, which means the only way to turn a bus around is in midair as it plummets to the gorge below. Vyxsin thinks they'll never see their Amazing Purse again. "Literally, if it's on the gondola, it's gone." Slo-mo shot of Vyxsin gesturing desperately to the driver, Kent mouthbreathing, and that gondola car heading back up the mountain with nothing in it but the Goths' passports and cash. I try not to use this phrase too often, but: Epic Fail. If there's a worse way to run a leg of the Amazing Race, I can't think what it would involve.

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Amazing Race

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