Amazing Race
Think Like An Office Chair

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Sawing logs, indeed

Out on the road to Hattiesburg, the Bransens realize that the Linzes have caught up to them. As the Linzes pass, one of the Tonyas says, "Let's moon 'em." Despite the fact that their father is in the car, one of the Tonyas does indeed yank down her shorts and stick her ass out the window as the Linzes are passing. Then Nick rolls down his window, sticks his chest out the window, and pulls up his shirt. Then he points back at the Tonyas and says, "Now it's your turn." Oh, that Nick. What a mischievous day he's having. Something about this entire exchange taking place in front of their dad squicks me out, but...to each her ass's own, I suppose.

Against a backdrop of increasingly threatening lightning, the Paolos make their way around the track. Something sure does seem oddly appropriate about them spotlighted against an outbreak of weather that makes the entire thing look like it's the End of Days. They take off for their car, impressed with the imposing nature of the climate.

The Bransens and Linzes are pulling into a gas station to try to figure out what the heck the Southern Colonel might be. Together, these two teams find a listing in the phone book for the Southern Colonel Homes -- the mobile-home dealership Phil was talking about, so they're on the right track. It doesn't take them long to find the place, and when both teams get there, they pull a clue that tells them to search the trailer homes for one of three departure times. Phil phills us in that there are 37 trailer homes to look in, and the departure times are 7:20 AM, 7:40 AM, and 8:00 AM, though the teams are obviously not being told that. Once you pull a time, you can't change.

In one of my favorite scenes, schadenfreude-wise, the Schroeders waylay a member of the sheriff's department to ask what the Southern Colonel is. "Southern Colonel Homes, mobile homes," the cop explains. Char laughs condescendingly in the car, knowing that this is clearly a hick who doesn't understand what it is they need. Mark, too, chuckles all indulgently, saying, "No, that wouldn't be [it]." "That sounds crazy to me," Char contributes. Back in the car, Char and Stassi suggest maybe looking in a phone book, but Mark puts the kibosh on that, saying "it wouldn't be that easy." Clearly, he is thinking of earlier seasons.

The pinks, meanwhile, find some location or other where a nice gentleman gets online for them and looks up Southern Colonel Homes on Google Maps. They get directions. The Weavers use the gas-station method, pulling in and asking someone who immediately tells them that it's the mobile-home dealership. Elsewhere, the Schroeders finally get a rather obstinate Mark to stop in a gas station, where they look in a phone book and find out about the Southern Colonel Homes, figuring out that this is indeed what the sheriff was trying to tell them. Mark, because he is exactly this sort of asshole, rips out the page of the gas station's phone book that includes the listing. What in the hell gives you that right? I hate those people. Somebody lets you use a phone book as a favor, and you rip a page out? You're too cool to fucking write down the address? In the car, Stassi exclaims that "this sucks" and she's "aggravated."

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Amazing Race

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