Amazing Race
Think Like An Office Chair

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | 4 USERS: A+
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Sawing logs, indeed

In other news, the teams have $51 for the leg, in case you're keeping track of money, which you shouldn't, since it clearly isn't a factor this season. I'm not sure CBS wanted a post-victory interview in which somebody said, "What was our secret? Well, for one thing, you'd be surprised how long kids can go without eating if you get them hopped up on enough caffeine. Sure, he may lose a couple of inches in height as an adult, but it's not like he was going to play professional basketball anyway, ha ha!"

As the Bransens leave, Wally gives yet another voice-over about how he's always tired, causing that bit to cross the line from "motif" to "old saw." He claims that his "adrenaline kicks in" once they get a clue, so that really is apparently just about all this team has to say: "Wally is slow." Would you like to hear it again? He and the Tonyas take off. "I see the word 'Alabama,' I think 'ugly,'" one of the girls announces in the car. And it's understandable coming from her, really, because it's a rare state that can match the majestic beauty of Illinois. Wally kicks in with a little snippet from "Dueling Banjos." I hope he does that really loudly throughout the leg, because it's an awesome way to make friends. Throw in a couple of references to cousins marrying each other and the Battle of Gettysburg, and you're going to have so many dinner invitations, you won't know which to accept first.

1:18 PM. Linzes. There is some yapping about how they all support each other, and then we see them expressing affection through hitting, as brothers and sisters are wont to do.

1:33 PM. Schroeders. Stassi, choosing this week to begin working every nerve I have simultaneously, says that she's used to being first at everything. She also says, without apparent justification, that her family is "the underdogs right now." Yes, indeed, their situation is quite dire, and in order to avoid elimination, they will have to improve their performance by rising at least negative-three places in the standings during this leg. In the car, they discuss the name of the town, so the clue apparently doesn't just say you have to find the largest office chair, which would at least be a real clue, but it says where that office chair is located. I'm really surprised they don't just put a GPS device in your car and hand you a "You Are Here" map like the ones at the Mall of America. The Schroeders decide to take Interstate 65 South to get to Anniston. Now, this seems to be the way a lot of teams did it, and it would seem to suggest an interstates-only rule of getting from one place to another. Look at the map of Huntsville and Aniston. These teams went over to 65, presumably down to Birmingham, and then came east on I-20. That's a long way out of your way when you can just follow that purple line. I diagnose most of these teams with a serious case of state-highway-ophobia. Or possibly interstatophilia.

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Amazing Race

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