Amazing Race
Think Like An Office Chair

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | 4 USERS: A+
Sawing logs, indeed

The Bransens find the BP station, and shockingly enough, they don't have particular trouble inside finding Les. Because he's, like, the only person there. You couldn't at least have had ten guys wandering around so you'd at least have to ask? The Linzes are there at the same time as the Bransens, and the clue these teams get from Les tells them to drive to "the Pelican State." Phil proudly says that teams will have to "figure out" (well, he says "figger out") that this is Louisiana. In Madisonville, they'll have to find Fairview Riverside State Park. The lead teams both manage to "figger out" that they're headed for Louisiana, and they get on the road. I hope they all take a moment to rest their brains.

Despite having the address on hand, the pinks drive right by the BP station on the first shot, losing ground to the Paolos, who find it the first time. When the pinks see that the Paolos pulled into that BP station, they hypothesize that "maybe they went to pick up something." There's a brilliant thought. I wouldn't have thought it was possible for this particular clue to outwit anyone, but clearly...I was wrong. Inside, DJ gets the clue from the not-very-elusive Les. Eventually, the GabbleGabbleGabbleskis figure out that they did indeed miss the BP, so they turn around and go back.

In the Schroeder car, Stassi is all on about how "one second makes the biggest difference" yet again as they approach the BP. I certainly hope she doesn't twitter about that as much as it seems like she does, because that would get really annoying. ("You can get away with only peeing halfway! Get out of there! One second makes the biggest difference! Nobody listens to me!") Ultimately, the Weavers, Gaghans, and Schroeders all are at the BP just as the pinks are leaving.

In the Gaghan car on the way to Louisiana, Bill starts wondering where he put his pen. Carissa, because she has improvisation in her soul, decides that this is the perfect time for spontaneous songwriting. The song goes like this: "Where's your lucky pen? Where's your lucky pen? Where's my lucky pen? Luckyyyyyy pen." This last line, incidentally, is delivered while dramatically looking out the window as if lost in thought in a 1940s musical. If you've ever seen Meet Me In St. Louis, this is her "How can I ignore the boy next door?" look. Adorable. Char, meanwhile, is distressed by the clue. "Never heard of Fairview, Louisiana," she says, "and we live there." Of course, I'm not sure why they assume Fairview Riverside State Park would be located in someplace called Fairview, Louisiana, not understanding Char is not exactly big news. The Weavers pull out of the gas station while the Schroeders are filling up, giving Stassi another opportunity to bitch about being behind "Florida." Finally, her father has had enough. "Stassi, you're being nasty, and it's ugly." And he's right, of course, but coming from him? Please. This is basically what Stassi herself says, although the snotty way she says it -- "You're looking ugly too right now" -- is enough to kind of still make me wish he had grounded her for three weeks starting the minute they got home.

The non-Amazing Yellow Rand-McNally Highway Squiggle shows us that the teams are driving from Richland, Mississippi to Madisonville, Louisiana. The anticipation, it is breathless.

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Amazing Race




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