Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Have You Herd?

After the ads, we get a full rundown of who's on this bus, courtesy of Brian: Justin and Zev, Cheyne and Meghan, "Pinky and the Brain," (which is Gary and Matt, and which I'm totally stealing), Team Boston (Which is Lance and Keri), and Garrett and Jessica. Someone gets the idea of paying the driver extra to leave earlier, on the basis that the additional money will cover the fares of the people the driver is waiting for. Everyone ponies up a hundred per team, and they're on their way, cheering to be not only poorer but also in motion. Although it's not really clear whether they each paid a hundred dollars or a hundred of the local currency, a hundred Vietnamese dong converts to about half of one American cent, so it's probably the former. Also, "dong." After the bus leaves the terminal, there's a brief pause to load a caged chicken into the luggage compartment. "Underneath the bus is somebody's dinner," Zev remarks, which may be true in more ways than one. The chicken's owner climbs on the bus, looking so wet and cold that Zev hauls off and gives him a jacket. Ericka interviews that she was proud of his kindness, and Justin agrees, "That's good of you, Zevvie. The local looks pretty happy in his new jacket. If he were to earn the money to buy that himself, who knows how many dongs might have had to change hands?

The first bus arrives at its destination, only to find that the Gio Hoat Dong boat dock is only open from 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM, according to the helpful English sign across the entrance. Looks like they'll be spending the night. It's dark and still raining by the time the next bus arrives, and I can't imagine any of them are too thrilled to have spent a hundred whatever per team for nothing, especially now that they discover the only accommodations for them until the morning are camp chairs. Cozy.

As some of the teams grab some dinner and wait out the rain in a local restaurant, Garrett tells us about Jessica's good qualities: "She's very loyal, very loving, very caring. She's a really good person." You know, except for her female drama and her fiery Colombian side. Maria and Tiffany interview about how good they are at watching people and learning about them, and saying they don't get "warm vibes" from Justin and Zev. Well, a) one of them has Asperger's, and b) you lied to them. Even Zev, who has a clinically diagnosed condition that makes it difficult for him to read people, says of Team Inside Straight, "They don't give off a loving, let-me-help-you-out-vibe." After dinner, everyone adjourns to patio furniture by the dock, as Lance complains about the "culture," which to him consists of his wet footwear. Well, by that standard, I never should have gone back to New York City after that time I was there when it was raining. The poker chicks interview that they don't believe he's a lawyer. "I don't want to use the word 'meathead' in the wrong sense," Tiffany says, "but we just cannot picture Lance in a courtroom." Oh, I can, easily. He's the one in the defendant's chair.

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Amazing Race

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