Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Have You Herd?

Sam and Dan leave at 12:54, in ninth place. They interview that they're staying in the closet with the other teams for the time being, hoping to let flirty-girl contestants think they're throwing them off their game. Too bad there's only on all-female team this season. I guess the producers figured that once they got one in the final two last season, they didn't have to push so hard this time around.

Mika and Canaan leave at 1:03 AM, and what's important to learn about them? "With Mika, I am sexually pure," Canaan interviews as they hit the hotel. "That's important to me because of my faith." What's striking about this is that Mika and Canaan don't get the "Dating virgins" that Chuck and Millie used to have. Plus there's Canaan's "with Mika" qualifier, which only serves to make me wonder what his weekly whore budget is. Mika in turn interviews that Canaan likes her for "the right reasons," not because he wants to have sex with her. Normally there would be two ways we could go with that, but since Mika is kind of a knockout, that rules out one of them.

Maria and Tiffany, whose two-hour penalty pushed their departure back to 3:22 (clearly the deck is stacked against them this leg), taxi to the airport, and we see them interview that they're not going to share their real jobs with anyone. "Other teams aren't going to want to help the rich, successful poker chicks do well in this race." They'd much rather help liars. These two had better play it close to the vest. In the cab, Tiffany tells Maria that while she herself may be the brawn of the team, Maria is the brains. "And the boobs." Maria makes a face, like she's thinking that being the brains isn't such a great deal when you clearly got that position by default.

The sun rises over Narita airport, and Meghan and Cheyne are, unsurprisingly, the first to arrive. It is surprising that it seems to have taken them several hours to have gotten there. Team Miss America arrives next, closely followed by Gary and Matt, who I might consider dubbing Team Cats in the Cradle if that didn't require so much more typing than simply "Gary and Matt." They all want on the same 10:30 flight that the other teams have been booking from the hotel, but the flu-masked ticket agent behind the counter tells them Economy is full. Brian asks if they can buy economy class and sit in business class. What a sacrifice he's offering to make. Although I notice he's not willing to go so far as to subject himself to first class for an economy fare. Meanwhile, the other teams are begging other agents as Team Inside Straight shows up (!), saying that they have a Speed Bump but should be okay provided they stay with the group. Well, but so much of that depends on the luck of the draw. But sure enough, they join the crowd at the counter and call out, "Over here, too." For some reason, this mortally offends Brian and Ericka, who call it "sneaky," "shady," and "low." Wait, what am I missing? Meanwhile, the teams who booked from the internet have arrived, and they hang out smugly on the ticketing floor, discussing how screwed they think the other teams waiting at the counter are. Lance adds of the Poker Chicks that he can't believe they got a Speed Bump. Is that because he feels bad for them? Is he really a big softy despite his Masshole exterior? "Bastards should have been sent home," he clarifies. Oh, charming. He interviews that as a lawyer, he's cutthroat, and that's going to take them to the end. Other teams, beware the power of Lance's shit-talking!

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Amazing Race




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