Amazing Race
They Probably Should Have Some Counseling

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 3 USERS: A
The Best Pest Is A Budapest

Commercials. "I'm a goose!" Shut up, kid.

We return with our tense music and frenetic camera work to Berlin, Germany, which Phil reminds you has "a history of social and political turmoil." That's why they have the big wall and the statue of chains, just as Minnesota has the cherry and spoon sculpture to remind you of our history of luscious desserts. And here we are at the Brandenburg Gate, where Phil is strolling in his white pants (boo!) as he explains that the gate is "a symbol of Germany's reunification." And, whenever Jonathan and Victoria are nearby, a monument to man's inhumanity to man seems oddly appropriate. But in addition to being a major mark in the path of human history, it is also a pit stop. We watch some eating going on, but no sleeping or mingling, and then we peek in as Jonathan and Victoria are apparently having some kind of Spazpants heart-to-heart. Phil voices over that he has developed an intense natural curiosity as to whether they will "pull together and focus on the race." Or whether, ultimately, Phil will have to squash them with the famous Kiwi Death Hold, which can kill a person in seven seconds and a sheep in two and a half, so...about four, for Jonathan. In less depressing news, Phil wonders whether Lori and Bolo will be able to climb out of last place. Yes, it seems that only their swah-vay can save them now.

At 2:55 AM, Freddy and Kendra leave. And Freddy's head is swaddled in a giant American flag do-rag, so he's looking to attract as much rotten fruit on the public transportation systems of Europe as possible. They rip open the first clue, and it tells them to go to the guard shack at Checkpoint Charlie. For those of you who slept through your undergraduate class in this stuff and don't have Tom Hanks available to fill you in on all of the relevant history, Checkpoint Charlie is "the infamous East-West border crossing of the old Berlin wall." And there, they will find their next clue. In other news, there is $408 available for the leg, so you're either going to see some kind of substantial train ride or a lot of souvenir shopping. As they leave the mat, Kendra suggests going back to the hotel. Yes, back to the hotel. And why? "For research." By which she means "to wash my hair." And remember, they haven't even looked for the destination yet. Freddy wants to go to Checkpoint Charlie first. You know, like it says on the clue. They get a taxi, as Kendra explains that Freddy "likes to go, go, go." While she is "more thorough." More thorough? For not wanting to follow the clue until you've sat around on your asses for a while looking up flight patterns and figuring out whether a subway or a train is faster when traveling between two cities you may or may not ever visit? Shut up! The next clue could tell you to drive to Munich, or it could tell you to fly to India. You know nothing.

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Amazing Race




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