Amazing Race
They Probably Should Have Some Counseling

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Miss Alli: B | 3 USERS: A
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The Best Pest Is A Budapest

Elsewhere, Gus and Hera hurl a melon, which almost lands right on their heads, so that's not going too well. The two castle employees overseeing their work try not to laugh. Oh, crazy Americans, knocking themselves out with melons. We're so cute and innocuous when we're not being all imperial.

Freddy calls Kendra "Punky" as he urges her up the hill with more cannonballs. Yeah. "Punky." Ew. They stack up the cannonballs and reach the magic number. (They play the very tail end of the Horns of Perseverance, but not the entire thing. There's supposed to be a lead in -- "Nuuuuh, nuh nuuuh, nuuuh, nuuuuuuuh, nuh nuhhh, nuhhh, BLATBLATBLAT BLATBLATBLAT BLATBLATBLAT BLAT!" It's not the same when it's just the "blat" part.) (But no one cares except me.) (I'm so embarrassed.) Phil explains that the teams now have to take a train back to Budapest and find the Net Klub internet café, where they will get a clue by signing onto America Online via wireless internet. Hee hee. That's so freaking clumsy it almost makes me laugh. Poor Broadband Phil, forced into a marriage of convenience with the "You've Got Mail" guy. Nuance runs for a taxi.

Gus and Hera conclude that the catapult is for the birds (not literally! Nobody hit a bird! Leave me alone, PETA!), and they Bald-Snark the Detour by heading for the cannonballs. Elsewhere, Kendra runs into the train station and learns that the train to Budapest leaves at 4:25. "Gus and Hera are going to catch up to us," she grumps.

But first, Gus and Hera have to hump the cannon up the hill, and that's no fun at all.

Back in the Hornio Trabant, El Hornio informs us that "this is horrible."

Somewhere, Lori and Bolo change lanes.

We then see Rebecca reaching into the front seat to help El Hornio shift, and...yeah, I'm not sure that's a great strategy. I'm thinking the gearshift needs to belong to the driver. "[El Hornio] killed the car," Rebecca says as they pull over and stop.

Commercials. Did you know that Butterball makes turkeys? I thought they only made adolescent suffering.

By the side of the road, Hornio is struggling. They open the hood, and they both stare uselessly at the car, like, "Do you know what to do?" "Uh, no, do you?" So the hood is open for no apparent reason, because they can do nothing but wave their arms around it and, quite possibly, bang on things. Although that's how they recently fixed the heat in my apartment, so what do I know?

Elsewhere in bad news, Lori and Bolo are not on the road where they intend to be.

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Amazing Race

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