Amazing Race
They Probably Should Have Some Counseling

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 3 USERS: A
The Best Pest Is A Budapest

Previously on 101 Reasons To Fire Your Contestant Screeners: Kendra discovered that if you can't put the word "good" in front of it and use it to describe the practice of not spitting when you talk, it's really better to stay away from the word "breeding" altogether. Gus experienced a moment of revelation right here in the middle of this here game show, leaving thousands of confused viewers who saw this listed under "reality shows" to scratch their heads, pop another mouthful of caramel corn, and say, "When do they get naked and eat the bugs?" Lori and Bolo wanted everyone to buy their own plane tickets, and Hayden decided that the way to handle her frustration at this was to point out that Bolo is short. She immediately received the Slow Clapping Medal from the International Society of Yeah, Good One. Victoria's surprisingly sensible refusal to abandon the Spazpants backpacks resulted in their finishing (1) second; and (2) in possession of their passports. This turn of events activated Jonathan's spastic and miscalibrated "YEEAAARGH!" button, and he rewarded Victoria for saving their loot by giving her a revolting shove. Phil looked at Jonathan like he was a piece of dog poo wrapped in Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason and topped with Donald Rumsfeld's soul, and suggested he go and make things right with his wife. Jonathan decided that what Phil really meant was "Yell at her some more." So he did, telling her that the race wasn't about compassion. Interestingly, going to the grocery store isn't about compassion, either, but the first guy who handles me (in a hostile way, I'm saying) while I'm shopping for Cheerios should anticipate a lawsuit, a visit from the police, a knee in the groin, and a public flogging. Not that I'm suggesting any of these courses of action, Victoria. Don and MJ were so appealing that it was really sad, though kind of inevitable, when they fell behind again, finished last again, ran out of spare lives, and found themselves Philiminated. Oh, and M. Giant wrote the shit out of the recap, because he's the bomb, and the Minnesota Department of Economic Doohickeys asked us to make sure this show is never outsourced to some out-of-state outfit. Like Wisconsin. Boo! So, with seven teams left, it's time to hit the ground running again. "Who will be"

Credits. In the credits of my imagination, El Hornio stubs his toe on the big, scary gym equipment, cries like a baby, and begs Rebecca to blow his nose. [BOMP.]

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Amazing Race




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