Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Arhats Are Off

Louie comes out of the hall with a pencil behind his ear, like the accountant he's trying to be, and the number 521 on his pad, like the accountant he isn't. Looks like he forgot the standing ones. Back in for another try... after ten minutes.

After the ads, which do not last ten minutes even though they seem that way, Louie rereads the clue, particularly the part that reads, "Count all the golden statues in the hall" (emphasis his). He interviews about how he's always said, "Read the clue, read the clue..." "I'm falling by the way of the sword," he says when he's back inside for another attempt. I was going to use the verb "quips" there instead of "says," but quips have to make sense.

Cord asks how Jet is doing. "I ain't finding anything," Jet says, while surreptitiously holding up a chop to the camera that shows a pig and his own name. He tucks it in his pocket, shushing the camera like he's on The Office, fearing that the other team might be more motivated if they knew about it. He does whisper it to Cord when he gets the chance. Caite next finds one reading, roughly, DROC (the letters engraved backwards so a stamp would come out looking correct), and keeps it to herself. Cord keeps looking. Brent finds one that reads "TNERB," and since Jet found one reading "BRENT" earlier there's obviously more than one of each. "Baby, I got mine, he calls over to Caite. She asks how big it is, and I think you can imagine where the conversation goes from there.

Dan flirts with a chick on the sidewalk form his sidecar. "Danno, stop it. That could be her boy. Oh, my God, he's just staring at you." That could just be because of the goggles, though.

Louie gets 523 on the second try, so off they go to the motorcycles. There are still, like, half a dozen there for some reason. "Drive it like you stole it, baby," Michael says as he gets on the backseat. The driver looks at us in his mirror like, "Does he have to say that every leg?"

Caite finds her chop, and they're not even out of there before Cord finds one reading "CORD." They separate, and Brent and Caite are officially in first place as they read their clue outside. Phil says they now have to get to the Huangpu River, specifically the Riverside Promenade. "This scenic park overlooking Shanghai's historic waterfront is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race," Phil says as the camera zoos around him. "The last team to check in here will be eliminated." Seriously, no more fucking around.

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Amazing Race




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