Amazing Race
The Ultimate Fun House

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Bin Ein Berliner

Speaking of the country singers -- whose ears must be burning under the flaps on their knitted hats -- they're taking off at 3:28 AM, in fourth place. They're all excited to be going to Germany and they're not quiet about it either, as though people in Switzerland don't sleep. They interview about wanting to go to the final three with Bates & Anthony, whom they've designated their "race boyfriends." That's quite a qualifier there. In any case, it doesn't look like anybody's going to get knocked out of the running too early in this episode, because the three lead teams make it to the train station on foot and learn that the next train leaves at 5:26. Which means that plane or no plane, everybody will be on the same conveyance out of the country, as usual.

Time passes, and the train rolls into the station at 5:18 AM. Everyone boards, including Joey & Meghan who left the mat in fifth and last place without benefit of an onscreen departure time. Most of them are pretty happy about getting to travel in first class. "I'm always first class," Joey says. Someone forget to tell his hair that this morning. He interviews that it's embarrassing for them to always be coming in at the bottom of the pack, because they know they're so much better than that. Don't ask me how they know that.

At 6:47 AM, it's still pretty dark outside the train windows and most teams are fast asleep in their seats, but not Bates, who was asleep but woke up to find his backpack missing from where he left it in the seat across from him. As racers awaken to find him wandering the carriage in search of it, there's almost universal sympathy for him among the other teams. But since he wisely kept his passport on his person (hear that, Abba>?), and hasn't lost anything but clothes and personal items, he's taking it pretty well. "I'm going to be so much faster now," he bright-sides. If only there was a way to split Anthony's backpack into two. Jennifer offers to lend him something out of their luggage. "Do you want some thongs? Some women's underwear?" she asks kiddingly. Bates seems to entertain the idea, but not to wear: "Could come in handy on those lonely nights," he cracks. Jennifer interviews about how laid-back and positive Bates always is. "Why don't you just date him?" Caroline asks her. The hair, maybe? Bates has an Owen Wilson smile, but that combover mullet is a total dealbreaker.

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Amazing Race

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