Amazing Race
The Final Push

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 3 USERS: A+
Hippie Pretty
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on The Amazing Race: The whole season. The donkeys, the chickens, the propane tanks, the pink hair, the hernia, the yelling, the blah bling bloo, and ultimately, the city of Taipei and the elimination of Nate and Jen, which was so overdue that fines were piling up. Fudge! Wow, the previouslys really make me ponder how much it would have sucked to spend this whole season with Ari and Staella. Gross. Incidentally, the best part of the previouslys, by far, is the affectionate montage of Don explaining that he's done practically everything in his nearly seventy years of life, short of an emergency tracheotomy and a drag show. And I'm not so sure about the drag show. Anyhoo, there are three teams left, and this is your finale. Who will win one million dollars...tonight?

Credits. Did you get an autographed picture of Kynt and Vyxsin? Didja? Didja? Do you want one? Did you get one? [BOMP.]

Commercials. You guys, I wouldn't touch another season of Big Brother with latex gloves and a fifty-foot shovel. You could promise me that they would soak every episode in Purell before I watched it, and I still wouldn't. They could cast Yul, Dr. Drew, and Patton Oswalt, and I still wouldn't. Are we clear? Oh, good.

It is night in Taipei, which Phil says is a "burgeoning city" (doesn't he call half the cities they visit "burgeoning"?), and where the teams stopped most recently. Tenth pit stop! Racearoundtheworld! And then, as if by magic, it is morning.

9:47 AM. It is time for lead team Ron and Christina to leave. The clue tells them to fly to the "final destination city" of Anchorage, Alaska. So, compared to previous seasons, they're just kind of chopping off what would normally be the end of the race after the run through Alaska. Phil says this is more than a 4500-mile trek. When they arrive, they'll have to get to an "outdoor adventure store" called Sixth Avenue Outfitters, where they'll pick up "necessary gear" and a clue. Christina counts out their $392 (I have this weird feeling that these numbers appear to the producers while they float through dreamlike hazes, because otherwise, the logic of $392 escapes me), and they leave. As they get in a cab, Christina comments again on how she and her dad are "stronger and smarter" than everyone else. Better hope so, lady. As I look at them together, I just want to tell future racers: slogan shirts are okay, but please -- just one. One slogan shirt. And if your slogan happens to be a question, please put a question mark at the end of it, rather than an exclamation point, or else I will be distracted by the constant desire to copyedit your shirt, which is not good.

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Amazing Race




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