Amazing Race
Tell My Mom I Love Her

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Rotten to the Corsica

Hornio. "Tell my mom I love her," El Hornio says again as he gets bolted into the diving helmet. Once he's in, the guy explains that there's a valve inside the helmet, and if he pushes on it with his head, he'll be able to expel the air out of the suit, and that will make him drop to the bottom. That may be perfectly true, but it sure sounds like the last thing you hear before you die. The two of them plod in their super-heavy suits, and inch by inch, they get to the water. As soon as Rebecca drops in, the bubbles stream from her helmet, just as they should, and she drops. Adam, however, floats in the water, and he begins to protest that he can't reach the valve with his head. As they try to pull him out, he wails in pain. (Trash, as sympathetic as ever: "This rules.") He tells them that they're hurting his jaw, and they should stop pulling on his head. Poor kitty.

Out on the road, Jonathan is haranguing Victoria about the fact that they didn't get the FF. "Your fault!" he shrieks. I don't care. I seriously just don't care. This is what they do. It's what they do every week. It's an act or it's not, or it kind of is, but what it isn't? Is entertaining. Enough.

The Model (?) Alliance pulls in at a gas station or something to get directions. Kris, in the back seat, firmly but politely says to Jon, "Babe? We need to pull over and ask somebody. We have to." It's surprising to learn that you can communicate that without the yelling. I'm not sure I understand how that's possible. I'm pretty sure the people who give me coffee at Starbucks would never understand what I wanted if I didn't shriek, "I WANT A MOCHA. YOU ARE SO STUPID!" Anyway, they do pull over. Spazpants goes by the Model (?) Alliance at the gas station just as Freddy is commenting that Lori and Bolo are "dumb as a stick in the mud" (huh?), and probably won't figure out where to go. Elsewhere, Lori and Bolo know right where to go. Shut up, Freddy. Kris and Jon nail down some directions as well, but Lori and Bolo and Spazpants are in the lead. Not that the Model (?) Alliance isn't, as Aaron stresses, "in full effect." It's just kind of behind. Not long thereafter, however, the alliance splits, and Hayden and Aaron can't find Nuance anymore. That is a problem, because without them, Hayden can't navigate. She forces Aaron to pull over and let her jump in and drive. Because she can't read a map. She is so useful. She tells us that while she loves Nuance, she feels like she and Aaron have to "do [their] own thing." I'm sure Nuance is real hurt. It's hard when you lose your faithful albatross like that.

Rebecca is making her way across the ocean floor in her giant diving suit. She reaches the lobster trap and shoots a grin at the trap-tending guy as she gets the clue. Up at the top, El Hornio is wailing as they try unsuccessfully to get him situated in the water. Ultimately, as he calls for help, they haul him out of the water and unscrew his helmet. As he lies on the dock, a successful Rebecca is hauled up, flush with the glow of victory. She and El Hornio check in, and he joylessly informs her that he wasn't able to reach the valve with his head, so he didn't go. She tells him it doesn't matter because she got the clue, but El Hornio gets the bad news from one of the task runners that the rules say they can't get the victory unless they both go to the bottom. So he basically has to suck it up, get down there, walk over and touch the lobster trap, and come back up, and then they can go. This makes El Hornio cry. Because, as he says, "she's going to kill [him]." Supportive significant others -- who can live without them, really? Indeed, Rebecca pushes El Hornio to realize that not only does he need to get down there, but he needs to go fast. "Because we have to get out of here," she says. El Hornio whimpers, insisting that he does want to go again. He really does! Don't tell his girlfriend he was scared! Rebecca interviews that "it's all up to him." She is so neat -- wouldn't you love to have her for your girlfriend?

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Amazing Race

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