Amazing Race
Tell My Mom I Love Her

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Rotten to the Corsica

In the airport, Lori and Bolo and Spazpants meet up at the Malev gate. "Why does this always happen?" Jonathan complains. He and Lori don't like each other, blah dee blah. There's an exciting storyline in the making. Will she or will she not choose to kill him with her bare hands? He's seriously such a dick that I'm not surprised he's been trying to spin this shit more positively since early in the season. You didn't know that? Huh. I did. Well, anyway, these two teams board the "1st Plane to Corsica."

Kris and Jon arrive at the airport, happy that they have reservations, and now they just have to actually buy the tickets. When they get inside to the ticket counter, they find Hornio and the Model (?) Alliance. The other teams all buy their Air France tickets, but when Kris and Jon get up there, they learn that while they have reservations, the guy has decided it's too late to sell them tickets. "Can you please just try?" Jon says calmly. "No, it's not possible. I'm sorry," the ticket guy says. Hornio and the Model (?) Alliance take off for the gate, leaving Kris and Jon standing at the ticket counter. (Sniff!) The guy tells them that "physically," he can't get them the tickets, because the system is closed. Surprisingly, they don't throw anything, start yelling, or even utter a single "fuck that shit," which I certainly would do. They obviously lack the intensity to be any good at this, which explains why they're constantly finishing in the back of the pack. Oh, wait.

Commercials. Oh, Samuel L. Jackson, I just don't know.

In the airport in Budapest, Kris and Jon continue to suffer. They're trying a different guy. "Can you please help us with this?" Jon asks. "Please, please, please, please, please," Kris mutters, much more to herself than to the ticket guy. He asks them to give him a minute. Ah! Hope! They stand around for a minute, and then the guy tells them that he will be able to ticket them, but they can't have an e-ticket. I'm thinking they probably don't care too much.

Down at the gate, Rebecca explains to the camera that the Model (?) Alliance is on the plane with them, but they're not sure what's up with Kris and Jon. "Kris and Jon are five feet behind you," El Hornio snarks. Rebecca pretends to be glad everyone got on the flight. Hee hee, she is so not happy.

The "2nd Plane To Corsica" takes off, and then the Amazing World Map displays the two lines, one for the Lori/Bolo/Spazpants plane stopping in Lyon, and one for the Everybody Else plane stopping in Paris, on the way to Corsica. Phil explains that everybody is heading out. And indeed, at 6:40, the first flight touches down. Lori and Bolo run off, and Spazpants trades mutterings about the possibility of allying themselves with Bolo and Lori for the purposes of what Victoria calls "safety in numbers." At a counter, Bolo asks about where Napoleon was born, and he gets the info. The two teams walk off together, but when they get there, they learn that the place closed at 6:00 PM, and doesn't open until 9:00 AM. So all the airport maneuvering? Yeah. Pointless. That's super. Kris and Jon could have missed the flight and probably three more after it, and it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference. You probably couldn't have screwed this leg up no matter how hard you tried, up to this point.

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Amazing Race

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