Amazing Race
Tell My Mom I Love Her

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Rotten to the Corsica

Kris and Jon make what seems like it might be a smart decision, which is to stop in what turns out to be a pet groomer to call about airline tickets. As a dog receives a thorough combing, Jon works the phone. Is this supposed to suggest that Jon needs a comb-out? Because I think I object. Jonathan and Victoria, meanwhile, head for a travel agency. Back at the groomer's, Kris explains that what's not so great about this arrangement is that she's allergic to dogs. Jon tells her that they're reserved on Air France to Corsica, so she can go outside and breathe. They hop in their cab for the airport. Kris sneezes. Hee. Darn dander.

Hornio is aware of Lori and Bolo just ahead as they get to the airport. El Hornio asks Rebecca whether she's going to hog the ticket counter again, or whether she might let him do it this time. "Shush," she says. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he comes back. So very, very sexy. Really. El Hornio voices over that Rebecca really isn't including him on the decision-making so much. Which is hard to believe, given their robust, healthy power dynamic. Inside, Bolo checks flights with Malev, which already is really loving the racers this year.

At the travel agency, Spazpants asks about flights to Corsica.

Lori and Bolo land a Malev flight to Lyon that will then continue to Ajaccio. It turns out that Spazpants got the same flight from their travel agency. At Malev, Rebecca tries to get on that flight, while El Hornio says he's heading off to another counter. "'Cause I've never done it, and I'd like to learn how to do it," he says. Rebecca brushes him off, so he calls her "the most dramatic retard right now," and the only thing I can hear in my head is Sars saying, "'Right now'?" ["That is in fact exactly what I said." -- Sars] Rebecca tells El Hornio that he is making her "crazy" and "agitated." So he'll probably stop it. The next thing we see is El Hornio, all lying sadly on the benches, explaining that Rebecca "thinks [he's] a moron." Miss Alli's Mom: "Well, he's pouting, is what he's doing. This is not a healthy dynamic between these two." She is a master of the understatement. El Hornio says he will "try to behave." It turns out that Rebecca is learning that even she, with her brilliant powers, cannot get them on the Malev flight, because it's just plain full. Maybe if they show the agent the horns? The Malev lady, at any rate, sends them to terminal 2B, where they can check with other airlines. Speaking of terminal 2B, the Model (?) Alliance is getting there right now, as it turns out, and heading to Air France.

Spazpants insists in the cab that at the airport, it will become clear "who's playing the game and who's not." Thanks. Jonathan insists that his team may not win physical stuff, but they "can outthink anybody." Particularly when it comes to justifying their own behavior, I'm thinking. Jonathan, never one to miss an opportunity to slag women who could snap him like a twig, takes a moment to talk about how much he doesn't like Lori, with her big man hands and her "masculine voice." He "playfully" gives Victoria a "noogie." It's easier to do that and have it be endearing and effective mockery of others when you don't actually shove your wife, you fuckstick.

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Amazing Race

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