Amazing Race
Tell My Mom I Love Her

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
Rotten to the Corsica

Kendra smiles gamely while doing jumping jacks to stomp grapes. It's nice that she gets through this without talking, meaning that she doesn't do any further damage to her reputation. Spazpants pulls up, and Kendra notes their arrival. They read the clue for the Roadblock, which Jonathan takes, because it's one of the less challenging ones. Meanwhile, Kendra is just finishing, and she hops out. She drinks the juice, Freddy laughs and applauds her in one of those moments that makes me wish I could like him more, and they collect the clue that will lead them to the pit stop. Phil says that it's an 18-mile drive to the pit stop at La Pietra, a "scenic overlook." And the last team to check in "may be eliminated." Nuance takes off, just as Spazpants arrives and Jonathan jumps into a barrel. Victoria harangues him while he's trying to work, so that's at least a little bit satisfying.

Kris and Jon pull up to the vineyard. As they get there, they pass Nuance just getting into its car. "It's going to be a blast; it's down the hill," Freddy says of the Roadblock. Kendra is all snappish in the car over the fact that she doesn't think he should be giving out any information to other teams. "Not even if it puts them one second ahead," she says. Oh, poo. That's a good way to make sure you have a really bad time. As Jonathan continues stomping, Kris takes the Roadblock for her team. Bolo and Lori pull up, too, so this is quite the mob of folks all of a sudden. What you now have is Hornio all done with the leg, Hayden and Aaron lagging, and everybody else in the middle, pretty well bunched together. Victoria bothers Jonathan to make a little empty spot near the spout so the juice can run out. Kris starts on her second bottle; Bolo gets started stomping. As Victoria explains it, somewhere along here, the way Jonathan had rearranged everything caused a blockage in their spout (ew), so that no more juice would flow out, even though they only had about a half a bottle to go. As usual, Lori and Bolo are sort of play-fighting, and Kris and Jon are concentrating on getting the thing done. Victoria starts to shriek at Jonathan about there being a rock stuck in the funnel. He fixes it, while Bolo asks everyone else if they can see what a bitch Lori is. A black dog nearby stares with unhappiness. Victoria begins to whimper in a whining voice about how other teams are going to pass them. As Jonathan hollers, "SHUT UP!", the black dog cringes and runs away. A hilarious edit, were it not so fucking sad. I can take the implication that you scare animals if it's a little funny. When it's too literal, it's not that easy to laugh at. Kris and Jon, meanwhile, are laughing their way through, because that's all you can really do. "Sweet," he says, and they turn in their bottles. She takes the drink, and they take off for the pit stop. Bolo and Lori are closely following.

In the Kris/Jon car, she explains that she's "seen a lot of I Love Lucy episodes, when she smashed the grapes." She goes on. "And I think my face really helped." And then she twists her very pretty, very smiley face into a hysterically stretched-out, goofball, open-mouthed grimace that I can't even describe adequately if you didn't see it. And then as quickly as it appeared, it's gone, and she smiles pleasantly. So cute. ["I was finding this team a bit dull until she pulled that face, which was rad. Nice work, lady." -- Sars] They are so keeping me from going insane this season. I realize it's a heavy burden to bear, so it's a good thing they are so darn ripped.

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Amazing Race




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