Amazing Race
Tell My Mom I Love Her

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
Rotten to the Corsica

On the climbing wall, Kris and Kendra are working their way up. They get there at almost the same time, but of course, Nuance is now way ahead, because Freddy has already gone, and Jon hasn't. So Nuance is the first team to finish the climb. Freddy tells Kendra she was "awesome." They run over to the terrace and greet the French Foreign Legion guy, who puts medals around their necks. Thousands of actual military heroes begin spinning in their graves, talking in French about devaluation of the currency. Nuance runs over and begins the rappel back down to solid ground.

Lori and Jon are both climbing. He manages to pass her, and Kris and Jon wind up as the second team to finish the climb, though Lori and Bolo are close behind. Freddy, meanwhile, rappels down the wall, and Nuance gets a clue telling them to head to a winery ten miles away in Zilia. They get to their car, and Kendra rereads the clue. Just then, Hayden and Aaron finally arrive and get their clue for the Detour. They choose to climb.

Kris and Jon collect their medals and head out, and then Lori and Bolo do the same. Aaron, meanwhile, makes his way up the climbing wall. Hayden, however, struggles. I know you are shocked. She actually may be less useful than Flo. Until the last couple of legs when she got really horrible, Flo at least was contributing. And she was mistreating a friend, not someone who was supposed to be her boyfriend. Not that mistreating your friends is all right, but...never mind. They're both horrid.

Spazpants Boat of Misery. Finally, Victoria spots a buoy, but when Jonathan turns it around, it says, "Try Again." When Victoria doesn't understand exactly what he's telling her, he screeches that she's a "moron." What fun this is, and what great and interesting character development. Victoria screams that they're going to lose, he floats around in the water, and a brief glimmer of hope fills the living rooms of America that the season might be salvageable if these people are removed right this minute.

Commercials. Do happy cows really make better cheese? That would be interesting, if it were true. I kind of think it probably isn't.

Spazpants. Victoria yells at Jonathan that "this was a total loser of a Detour." Well...yeah. It would seem. Unfortunately for all of us, when they head for another buoy and Jonathan turns that one over, it has a clue attached. So they're done. And not in the good way. They review the Zilia clue.

On the wall, people are still rappelling down the wall as Jonathan and Victoria return in their boat. So when Jonathan sees this, he knows that he and Victoria are still in the race, and the machinations of Satan are continuing unabated. Kris and Jon rappel, then Lori and Bolo, and those teams are away. Hayden, however, struggles with the rappel, immediately conking herself into the side of the wall. "Aaron," she whimpers. Not at all something I found funny. Just not at all. Especially the part where her ass conked into the bricks. Reeeeally sad. I didn't laugh. Well, I didn't mean to laugh.

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Amazing Race




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