Amazing Race
TARcon 4: Twenty More Things

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Kisses, Coronas, and clowns

At some point, somebody taps me on the shoulder. "Do you see that white-haired guy over there in the white shirt?" I nod. "That's Bert," they say.

"Bert Bert? Executive Producer Bert?"

"Yep."

I make a note that I will have to go over and say hi at some point. Despite my note-making, this never actually happens. How is that possible? Damn.

Now, what makes this story funny is that after I later complain in the finale recap that I didn't met Bert at the party, I receive an email that basically says the following: "Yes, you did. I was standing right there. We were over by the bar, and he thanked you for all the support, and you complimented the show...it was really nice. You did talk to him." Of course, this strikes fear directly into my heart, because although I know I had a few Coronas, I am not having memory problems. How is this possible? So, I write back an email that says basically this: "Is it possible that you're thinking of my conversation with Elise [Bert's wife and also a producer]? Because I did talk to her. And we were over by the bar. And that's basically the conversation that she and I had." The reply comes back: "You know what? I think you're right. Never mind."

And what makes that story funny is that I later tell it to my parents over dinner at their house, and I start with the part where I write in the recap that I didn't meet Bert. And then I talk about the arrival of the email claiming I did meet him after all. I say to them, "Now, I was nervous about this email, because the thing was, I hadn't eaten much of anything the day of the party, so..." My mom raises an eyebrow. "Well, you can see where this is going," she says to my father. "She was looped." "I was not that looped," I protest. "I didn't eat dinner! I'm just saying..." "She was looped," Mom says. "I saw the pictures. She looked looped." Now, I tell her the part where it turns out I was right and I didn't meet him. "So that was a relief," I say. "I would think," she answers. "I told you I wasn't that looped," I finish.

Seventeen

Chris is holding court with a bunch of his many newly-minted fans when I get there. He's been on the boards off and on, so it's nice to have a chance to say hi. There's a little crowd around, so he's entertaining them with various tales of Sequesterville and Venice and hearing himself say, "Come on, FLO!" with Flo across the room. Heh. He brings Amanda over, and he apparently tells her who I am, because she beams at me and says, "No, you're noooooooot!" She is officially the cutest thing ever. She should come complete with a little pink twitchy nose. And they really do swear a lot. But hey, you know that.

Eighteen

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Amazing Race

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