Amazing Race
Rob And Amber Get Married

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Money for nothing, and your wedding for free

That night, the guests start arriving. As they greet them, Rob says that the greatest thing was seeing their families arrive. Rob gives an official welcome into the microphone, and then he says, "Let's pah-ty." Well, sure he does. After a sausage-rageous barbecue, everyone heads off for some casino play. Rob and Amber face off at the craps table, where he appears to be drunk, again, some more. It's nice that this is all on film, because it doesn't look like he's going to remember very much of it.

The next morning, Amber and her friends take off on a boat for her bachelorette party, where she announces that they're going on a dolphin encounter. Sigh. Rob, on the other hand, announces that he's taking all his guys out on a fishing trip for his bachelor party. He comments on the fact that the best thing about his bachelor party is seeing people from different parts of his life all together, which is interesting because of the number of people I know from whom I've heard the same thing about their weddings -- how neat and how weird it was to put their work friends and college friends and family and so forth all into the same room. And then, presumably, hope that it isn't struck by lightning or anything, because how much would that suck? This is the way my dark mind works. Rob's on the boat with his family, meaning that the boat with his friends has to moon him. Well, of course. What's a wedding special without a few pixelized asses?

Amber and the women, of course, get a totally dorky experience doing what looks like water aerobics with a bunch of damn dolphins. Where are the strippers? This sucks. And I cannot tell you how much I would rather be fishing. Dolphins are twee! Boooo!

Later, it is the eve of the wedding. The rehearsal dinner is underway, complete with copious delicious food. And now, it is time for the revealing of the surprises. Amber get the crowd's attention and explains how CC got them to plan surprises for each other, and now, they're going to unveil them. And, she says, Rob's first surprise will be the first thing they uncork. A little video monitor in the room where the rehearsal dinner is starts up, and we watch as Amber and Nicole tie up the painting, which of course can't be seen. The first hint is when the video cuts to a sign that says "Spring Training." Rob looks down at Amber with a smile. "Oh my God, you got to go to spring training? Without me?" As we watch, Amber snags her autographs to the cheers of the crowd. So he starts to figure out what she's doing. Rob interviews incredulously that Amber went down there and hung out with his very own Red Sox. "I've never even been to spring training," he points out. Rob absolutely loves the part where Trot Nixon goes apeshit into the video camera. Heh. And then Bronson Arroyo says, "Be faithful to your wife, and stop cheating, like you do in all the games." And he grins. Rob loves that, too, and at home, Lex throws a coffee mug into his TV and says, "Well, really." Back in the room, Amber reveals that they had the painting shipped down, and here it is. They show this ginormous piece of art to Rob. He hugs Amber. And he's crying, which I think is less about how awesome the painting is and more about how awesome Amber is, which is appropriate. She tells him not to cry, which only calls attention to it. As he cries into her shoulder, she points out that not very many people see him cry, so she knows that it meant a lot to him.

And now, of course, it's time for Rob to show off the house. On video, he tells her that they haven't had their own home, but now they will. And he explains how his brother and her brother and Rob's friends all pitched in to fix up the house. He tours her around the place, and now she's crying, too. He shows her the canopy bed, explaining how this apparently all came up while they were in Botswana, probably during the race. She loved the bed that had curtains around the canopy, and now they have one. AW! Hee. He definitely hit a home run with the house. "I love you; I can't wait to marry you," he says. AW! Okay, I'll stop. It's gross! I know. I feel bad, believe me. They hug. EEEEEW! She explains in an interview that it was "an amazing idea," and he went so far to make her happy. She declares their evening "perfect," and reminds herself that tomorrow is their big day.

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Amazing Race

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