Amazing Race
Real Fast! Quack, Quack!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A
Two For The Price Of One

Lyn and Karlyn are "lifelong friends and single mothers," and they're from Alabama. They're not models, though. Karlyn says that they're both "very independent," and they don't need help from anyone and so forth. She does say that she occasionally wishes she had someone to kill spiders. Man, with me, it's jars. I have an unopened jar of salsa in my apartment that is waiting for either (1) and especially enormously-built boyfriend; or (2) the day I become mighty. It will not be opened until one of those things arrives. I'll probably eventually just smash it on the balcony, pick out the big pieces of glass, and scoop it up with tortilla chips.

Tom and Terry are boyfriends, and... wow, some couples just really do look and act very alike. They're both sort of small and hyper and balding, and they just seem like they're pretty much exactly the same guy. They certainly would be trying out for the same parts if they were both actors. Oh my God, maybe that's how they met! I am so smart. I do have to say... I sort of cringe at having boyfriends on this show who are so sort of stereotypically Sean-Hayes-y, like, is it necessary to see them at the nail salon? I have nothing against nail-salon guys, and these guys seem lovely and I have no objection to them, but our last boyfriends were Lynn and Alex, and we're not exactly breaking that mold with this team, particularly because of their interview about how they're not here to make friends, either. Boyfriends don't always have to be self-identifying as bitchy, and it kind of irritates me. I always think it's sad that they're like, "I'm not going to be sending Christmas cards to these people." Because... why not? I mean, on this show, why not? This is a show where you can make friends. Maybe not stop to help people, but certainly make friends. It doesn't require acting against other people like Survivor ultimately does, so why not at least try?

The teams march across a park as Phil gives the standard "brains, brawn, and teamwork" speech. It's kind of his "39 Days... [x] People... One Survivor!" I feel a little ripped off by Phil's inadequate eyebrow pop here, but he gives at least a little one before he strolls away from us on the boat.

We reconvene at a round paved area where the teams have been gathered into an arc so that Phil can give them the sendoff. He talks about how it's divided into "many legs," and that each leg ends in a pit stop, and that eight of the pit stops are elimination points. You'll notice that with twelve teams, unless you think four teams are running to the finish line, that means someone is getting eliminated at some point that isn't a pit stop, or two teams are being eliminated at the same time. He goes on to caution them not to assume they know everything that's going to happen, because this time around will include surprises. You will all be divided up and you will have to run the race with the people who are the same ethnicity as you! Just kidding. Phil explains that when he gives the go, they can run over to their bags, read the directions, hop in one of the spoon-fed SUVs, and go. Winners get a million bucks! Woooo!

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Amazing Race




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