Amazing Race
Ready To Lose Our Lives

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Contestants do get woolly, 'cause of all the stress

In short, I found that entire sequence very, very funny, I laughed out loud repeatedly, Blake and Paige deserved it, and I completely side with Boston. It was a minor bit of revenge for a minor bad act, and it ought to be laid to rest. Period.

Once the luggage gets off the plane, everybody runs for the terminal. Well, the other teams run -- the Teeth walk, which makes me even less sympathetic to their cause. Boston jumps in a cab, as do Tara and Wil and Cha-Cha-Cha. Blake and Paige land a ride, too, once the driver corrects them about which side of the van to jump in from. Would've been funny to see Blake trying to find the door handle on the wrong side of the van, though. I think he might have looked for quite a while. Anyway, Phil explains that they're headed for Wentworth Station, a farm where their next clue can be found. Chris says that Taraweasel and Cha-Cha-Cha are just behind Boston, and the Teeth are "freakin' out, 'cause they thought they had a jump, and now they don't." Ah, another of Blake's schemes goes down in flames. Maybe he should have offered the flight attendants a wooden rhino.

Speaking of the Teeth, here's Blake, telling their driver to speed, and Blake will pay for the tickets. So, just to refresh your memory, if you're casting Blake in the role of Captain Put-Upon in the morality play inside your head? You've just got to trust me -- he's really not cut out for the part. He and Paige say that they're going to go do the Fast Forward. They've decided it's now most advantageous to go for it, as Phil explains during his Fast Forward speech. This week, you claim the FF by taking a speedboat ride on the Shotover River, spotting a flag, and grabbing the ticket. Not terribly challenging, I must say, but more so than a meat pie.

Taraweasel, Boston, and 3Cha are still making their way to the station. "You gotta just, like, floor it, man," Alex tells their driver. "It is floored, it is flat, so do not panic, we will get there," the slightly irritated driver tells him. Heh. Way to stand up for yourself, driver. Don't let the neckless push you around. Of course, Taraweasel now passes Boston, so the definition of "floored" depends on what particular cab you happen to be in. In the Cha cab, Ozzie explains that they are sticking with Taraweasel and Boston, and the Teeth are on their own.

Speaking of Blake and Paige, here's Blake, on the way to the FF: "The game is getting tight, you know...this is the final four. I don't have any loyalties, or alliances, or anything. It's Paige and I versus them." First, wouldn't that be "Paige and me"? ["Actually, the verb 'to be' requires the subjective case except in its infinitive form, so, no. In case anyone's working on an Amazing Grammar manuscript." -- Sars] Second, when did Blake ever have any loyalties or alliances? When has Blake ever played for anyone but himself? In short, shut up, Blake. Cheater! Speeder! They find the speedboat and take off. Flying down the river, Paige clutches her absurdly inappropriate knit hat (take the damn hat off, sweetheart), they look for the flag, and the only highlight is when Blake gets splashed with water right in the face and reports that it's cold.

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Amazing Race

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