Amazing Race
Quit Following Us

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Hysterical Landmarks

Hayden does the soabbox derby. "Like the wind!" Aaron sings to her as she and her boobs bounce up the hill. She finishes the course in 34.36 seconds. I guess those numbers do move. And she beat Jonathan's time, which makes me like her more.

Gus and Hera decide that she'll take the Roadblock, as Hayden and Aaron and Hayden run past them in the background. Jon and Kris arrive almost immediately, and Jon is right behind Hera on the run up the hill. "Coming down the mountain is a screamin' demon versus a little girl from California," Gus says. I bet the Amazing Editors love him. Hera's and Jon's racers are lined up side by side at the starting line. They're released simultaneously, and Gus and Kris watch them come down. They both finish in thirty-five seconds. Or the clock is frozen again. Kris berates Jon for his manifold shortcomings as a racer, as a lover, as a human being, and as a valid use for hair until her face turns blue and she collapses from hypoxia. She and Jon somehow get a razor-sharp lead heading out of the Roadblock. Gus spots them negotiating with a cab driver and asks if they can split the fare. Kris tells Gus to fuck off. No, she actually chirps, "Okay!"

Lori and Bolo get off the train and begin what looks like a long walk to the Roadblock. "We should have took a cab," Lori says. But what does Lori think they should have done differently?

El Hornio reads, "Who feels the need for speed?" "I dooo!" Rebecca cheers. She heads up the hill. "Good luck and don't kill yourself," El Hornio calls after her. She has a great time finishing in 34.79 seconds. They're in a really good mood for a team that's in sixth place. El Hornio offers to do the driving to the Pit Stop.

"Happy, happy, happy, happy," MJ says in their cab. "Happy, we're in Berlin." Don VOs, "We know that until Phil says, 'You've been eliminated,' you're still in." Thanks for explaining the significance of what we're going to see in about six minutes. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, you're toast.

The wrestlers are still walking through the woods. Lori is employing her usual strategy when they fall behind -- trying to speed their progress by throwing blame around.

Speaking of which, Jonathan is asking Victoria where they're going, but she can't find a map that they had:"If another team beats us, Victoria, I'm going to lose it." I wonder what that might look like? He clarifies, "I'm going to lose it on you because you can't get it right on the ground!"I'd like to see Jonathan right on the ground.

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Amazing Race




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