Amazing Race
Not a Well-Rounded Athlete

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Tilting at Windmills -- Not

The twins have arrived and Nadiya takes this one, since their identicalness extends to their tennis skills. "The twins are here now," Josh notices. "They're probably gonna power past." They certainly will if you don't get up, Sparky. Natalie joins Brent in the stands and Brent explains to her about Josh's ankle. But Natalie's confidence isn't exactly boosted when Nadiya yells up from the court, "Am I left-handed or right-handed?" "Right!" Natalie yells back. In fact, Nadiya doesn't do much better than Josh, hitting balls halfway into orbit. They interview about how their parents apparently stuck them in tennis lessons since age five and they were supposed to be the Venus and Serena Williams of Sri Lanka, but they got out of lessons by jumping in the pool in their clothes and then being forbidden to step on the clay court. Which must have seemed like a triumph at the time, but look at them now. Nadiya ends up with eight balls on her first try, which means she's worse at tennis than a 42-year-old man with a sprained ankle.

Well, except for how Josh still isn't getting up. Brent tells Josh he can do it. "I'm trying, Brent, I'm trying," Josh calls back, still without moving. Brent says they're not quitters, but Josh insists he can't push off his ankle. You're going to have better luck pushing off that than pushing off Brent, dude.

After the ads, Josh says this is tiring: "Hot sun, sprained ankle, 43 years, it's not easy. But I can either keep hitting those balls or I can drop." So he pushes himself to his feet, using his racket as a crutch and gets into position. He interviews, "I knew the pain was either gonna get bad enough that I would pass out or my foot would break off. That's the only way out." Or completing the task would work too, I imagine. Brent gives him some coaching during this third attempt and he's soon up to six balls. Nadiya's only at three, then four, as Natalie tells her to keep moving around the court rather than just waiting to hit the balls that come to where she's already standing. Josh keeps racking up hits, staying ahead of Nadiya, who Natalie observes to Brent is swinging her racket like a cricket bat. Indeed, if Rafael Nadal is the King of Clay, Nadiya is the Happy Gilmore. Josh manages to get his 20th ball in bounds and as he limps all gangly-like to the umpire's seat to collect his clue, he says he feels like he just won the Olympics. Brent hugs him briefly as they open their clue sending them to the coves and they leave, cheering the twins on. Nadiya swings her most recent ball into her highest arc yet, but it still lands in-bounds, due mainly to the lack of air traffic over this part of the island. They get their clue, "Currently in last place." And after starting the leg hours ahead of everyone else, too. In the parking lot, they run up to the car that the goat farmers are pulling out in and ask if they know where they're going. Brent says they'll have to ask for directions en route and drives off. Hurrying to their own car, the twins babble about how they have a map. "They're super prepared, they're gay!" one of them says. They probably shouldn't voice stereotypes like that. In fact, I don't understand why they need to speak at all, seeing as how twins can read each other's minds.

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Amazing Race

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