Amazing Race
Nanna Is Kickin' Your Butt

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
hatless sojourn out onto the cable, at the same time as Shannon. I just realized none of them have worn helmets out there, which is a little surprising. Jet says his brother isn't short in nerve. "I've hit the ground hard a lot of times, but never that high," Cord admits. He's never been on a 120-foot-tall bull? How did he win all those world titles, then?

On a seaside patio behind the Palacio Baburizza, a Chilean version of a mariachi band is playing a jaunty tune as Jordan and Jeff run up to the mat. The young male greeter tips his hat and welcomes them to Valparaiso. Phil tells them they're team number one, and they hug happily. They've also won a trip to Vancouver, which will include a skeleton ride at the Whistler Sliding Venue, which of course at the time of shooting was not known as the grim place of high-speed death that it is today. Jordan has apparently been praying every night not to mess up, "And so far, He's been with me," she says, as they do a little jig on the mat. So glad to see she's enjoying China.

Here come Brent and Caite, "the second team to arrive," which always precedes a "however." Phil tells them that for not taking the funicular as instructed, they've incurred a thirty-minute penalty. He sends them over to a park bench right behind the mat to wait it out. That gives them a much better view of the faces of the teams who officially check in before them, you see.

Monique and Shawne get their clue in seventh place, and with their cans of pea-green paint, get directions from an American-accented dude up the hill. Monique is carrying the ladder like her head is in a picture frame formed by two of the rungs, and calls it her cross. "If Jesus could do this, I can do this. I'm trying to be like Jesus." Wait, did Phil say the task involved getting nailed to the ladder once you get to the top of the hill? Also, I'm really looking forward to how she does on a Detour when the choices are between making the lame to walk and the blind to see.

Dan realizes that he dropped a brush. He-Jordan is very upset about this, and I don't see how it's such an emergency that a grooming item has gone missing, especially as short as their hair is. Then I realize he's talking about one of the paintbrushes for the task. That's more of a problem. Dan wonders what to do, but Jordan snits that they have to look for it before they can worry about that.

Steve and Allie have found a house that is undergoing some kind of renovation, so they go inside. Suddenly they're inside a room that's paneled in ebony up to about shoulder level, with white plaster above that that's in the process of being painted red. And that red is just about the same color of the red they're carrying, so they figure that's where they're supposed to be. A couple of workers show up but don't immediately throw them out, even when Allie STARTS PAINTING THE INTERIOR WALL! The colors don't quite match, but she's hoping they will when it dries. Oh, no. "Look, I don't know what they are doing here," one of the workers tells the camera in subtitled Spanish. Don't worry, neither do they. But in the background, Allie's making pretty good progress on that wall she's not supposed to be painting.

Monique and Shawne find their house, and get their clue in third place while Joe|Heidi and Carol|Brandy continue searching.

Once again with the heroic Cowboy Theme, as Cord has opened up a commanding lead on Shannon up on the cables. "Apparently there's somebody over there that ain't wantin' to come across," Jet remarks. And that person's wife is wondering what the hell is going on with him. Jet and Cord finish, now in ninth.

Over at the Pit Stop, Brent and Caite still have 21 minutes left on their penalty, as Brent tells us they wrote "Details" on their hands. Yes, but was that meant as a reminder of what to keep in mind during the race, or an affirmation for Brent's goal of scoring a magazine cover? Caite says hers must have rubbed off, just as Monique and Shawne arrive at the mat in second place. So that's one ranking Miss Team USA lost, by failing to read not only the clues but their own hands.

Michael and Louie get their paint clue, and pick out a little darker blue. Meanwhile, Dan and Jordan have given up the search for their missing paintbrush, and Jordan tells Dan, "Well then, you need to calm down, because you lost the brush and you need to figure out what to do with this." That's certainly calming. They figure there'll be a penalty waiting for them, but all they can do is press on.

Jet and Cord get their clue and their ladder. "Arriba!" they crow. Shannon finishes her cable walk. And Dana calls across the valley to Adrian, "I need you to try again!" Adrian tells us -- and his wife, months later, on national television -- "She's gonna ride me like a horse. I'll give it a try again." He starts over. Dana says, "I'll never stop loving him, but I'm gonna push him." Right, like a horse. We heard.

"This was so lucky, I'm so happy you said come in here, oh my gosh," Allie tells Steve. The workers are just laughing at this point, probably figuring they've become the subjects of some prank TV show rather than befuddled locals in an Emmy-winning reality series. Allie gets to some random point where she stops and the guy pronounces, "That is ugly. They don't know how to paint." Then when Allie asks him for a clue, he just shrugs and spreads his hands. "I went from genius to, 'are you kidding me, Dad?'" Steve interviews afterwards as Allie makes an "L" sign next to him. Now they've wasted time, they've vandalized someone's house, and still have to find the correct house. Plus they have less paint to work with.

Michael and Louie find some graffiti on a periwinkle wall, and Michael thinks that's what they need to cover. Louie eventually talks him out of it, but it looks like it took a few minutes. Dan and Jordan find and start on their yellow house, and are soon caught up by the cowboys, who are suddenly on their way to the Pit Stop in fifth place. Team Nana gets their paint clue and some beige paint, which they hang from the ladder while each of them carries an end and Shannon talks about the muscle groups she's been working today. The cowboys sprint up to the mat in third place. Jet interviews, "Cowboys aren't necessarily some hicks from Texas." First, who ever said that? And secondly, they're from Oklahoma.

Adrian is again struggling across the cable, and Dana's pretty sure they're in last place. That is the one thing their team is getting right at present.

Dan and Jordan are the fourth team to arrive at the Pit Stop, but they aren't entirely surprised to have a fifteen-minute paintbrush penalty to wait out. Brent and Caite still have four minutes left on theirs. A little early in the season for overlapping penalties, isn't it? Steve, Allie, Joe, and Heidi all jump onto the mat at the same time, apparently having finished their painting not only simultaneously but off-screen. They're teams four and five respectively, and we're left to wonder why the show is back to including airport hijinks instead of letting us see people actually do their tasks. Louie and Michael finish their painting and get their clue in ninth place. Which is not fast enough to beat Carol and Brandy, who arrive in sixth place while Brent and Caite still have a minute on their penalty and I guess Dan and Jordan have twelve on theirs. Adrian struggles some more on the cable. Brent and Caite finally get to check in at seventh, which they'll take, like they have a choice. In a post-leg interview, Caite says she's proven herself. "Technically, we really are second." Yes, she has proven herself, all right.

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Amazing Race




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