Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
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Those Who Red the Clue and Those Who Blue It

Dallas and Toni's young guide takes them straight to the bird hospital, and gets a high-five as a reward. A five-dollar bill probably would have gone farther. Mother and son quickly find the cage containing the stack of clues, and even more quickly decide on Bleary Eyed. Back out on the street, Dallas quickly taps a different kid -- they're not exactly thin on the ground here -- to show them where to go next, and the three of them running along quickly turns into ten or more. "We're running with a whole crew of kids that wanted to help us out," Dallas tells us, "and, uh, I'm just loving it right now." Toni is so moved that she interviews, "This race has given me an opportunity to see the man that Dallas has become. To see the joy in his face, you know, running down the street with those kids, I'm just proud to death of him." I just wish Miss Alli were here to appreciate the side shot we're getting of Dallas's giant arm. Impressive even when pink.

"How do I get this in my nose?" Terence asks Sarah, holding up a water bottle. Hold still, Terence, and let me help. He tries to snort some, and then blows it in the general direction of the window. Again, Sarah is duly grossed out. What, he didn't bring his neti pot? When they reach the Bird Hospital, Sarah suggests they split up the search by rows of locker-sized cages. "These birds are really messed up, babe," Terence observes. "I know, babe, 'cause it's a bird hospital," Sarah responds. She pulls out a guano tray from under one of the cages to examine its contents. For some reason that makes me wonder how she met Terence. He then gets the idea in his head that the clue is hidden underneath the seeds in a large pan on the floor of one of the room-sized cages. He makes her go inside while he shuts the door, and walks her through a whole search procedure in which she has to squat down, root through the seeds with her fingers, and pick up the seed tray with a bird sitting in it. I would be enjoying this a great deal more if they would switch places. Sarah feels bad about disturbing the bird, so Terence says, "Ask it to move." "Honey, can you please move?" she says to the bird. What, she doesn't speak bird, either? My estimation of Sarah's polyglot skills is dropping by the week. She gently picks up the tray so Terence can look underneath; nothing there. Terence finally lets her out of the cage, while the bird is left trying to unruffle its feathers and thinking to itself, Holy crap, does she need to dump that asshole. Guys like that are for us. They do find the clue, and decide to go with Teary-Eyed, probably before reading the entire clue. "This is our strength, let's get physical," Terence says. He probably saw "forty-pound bags" and made up his mind right there. Outside, Sarah convinces Terence to board a bicycle rickshaw, and chants "Go fast, go fast" at the driver in several of the local languages she must have taught herself during the Pit Stop, while Terence freaks out and cringes from the traffic passing inches from his unprotected red hide.

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Amazing Race

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