Amazing Race
Mark Down

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Bollywood Travolta

Mark is enjoying the bus ride as much as he can, given that he's got a barf bag in his lap.

At the college, everyone but JJ seems to be mastering the dance. "I felt like a fat Elvis," JJ says. Only fat Elvis had better hair.

Mark talks about the smog in the "ahr," saying that putting his head out the window just makes it worse. Bopper shakes his head, knowing what's coming. Maybe you should have taken the seat in front of him rather than the one behind, Gimpy. Suddenly Mark declares that he needs to get off the bus. Well, that's going to slow them down.

But after the ads, they do just that, and walk the rest of the way to the college. "Definitely got a bum knee on you, Blood," Bopper reminds Mark as he limps along behind. "I know, Blood," Mark says. All this "Blood"-ing. Soon there'll be blood on the pavement if Bopper isn't careful.

Meanwhile, on the football pitch, the four racers already doing the Roadblock are learning that so far they've only got the first section of the dance learned, and they aren't happy about it. Team Kentucky arrives, and when it comes to a dance challenge, a bad knee trumps a bad stomach. That means Mark's doing this one, joining the dancers in maroon. Bopper tells Brendon, "He ain't got much rhythm, but he's got heart." Most of which he puked out on the way over, however. JJ says he's ready to give it a try on the stage. He leads his squad up there. Lights, sound, camera, action, and a subtitle in Indian script reading "JJ: 1st Attempt" comes up on the screen as it begins. The music starts and JJ counts out loud, but still gets behind on the dance and the director calls a halt. "That was terrible. That was really bad," Other Rachel observes. "Dudes can't dance like chicks, man, it just can't happen," Art cavemans from the sidelines. Well, not that dude.

Other Rachel is the next to take a crack at it, and she gets through the routine, if not flawlessly, at least well enough to earn the clue. "It's perfect!" the head choreographer lies, handing her the clue. It's sending them via auto rickshaw to a place called "Indian Coffee House," which seems pretty nonspecific. Like the time I was trying to meet up with Miss Alli in Manhattan and I called her cell phone and she said she was at Starbucks. "Okay, I'll see you at the New York Starbucks in a few minutes," I said. No, not really. Anyway, once the racers get to the coffee house, the headwaiter (in white livery and red turban) is waiting to give them their next clue. "Chicks one, dudes nothin'," Art says. Tell it to the all-female teams who are still in the race, Alley Oop.

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Amazing Race

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