Amazing Race

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Run for the Border

Michael and Kevin have finished appointing their Goahte with its fur beds and fireplace to the satisfaction of the judge, so they get their clue in fourth place. Michael has trouble walking through the snow away from the encampment, so I can't imagine he would have done much better in the snow at higher speeds.

It's a tight race for second at the Pit Stop, at least until Brook also slips in the snow. That means Gary and Mallory are the next to arrive, showing up in second place for the second leg in a row. That puts Team QVC in third. They're all pretty happy about it. Group hug! Happy! Laughing! Sound guy getting hazard pay!

Jill and Thomas get to the train station and open the last clue in the box. Driving to the resort, Thomas suggests, "We could easily bypass and just kill everybody." Well, not three of the teams. You're going to have trouble catching them this leg.

Connor and Jonathan head down the hill on their first attempt, and it's not until I saw them attempting this that I realized this sledding thing must be harder than it looks. You have to pretty much kneel, and your center of gravity isn't all that low, and it's difficult not to fall off repeatedly. Or at least it is, going by watching Connor and Jonathan. One of them crashes, then both of them, then one of them again. And that's just for starters.

Chad and Stephanie are ready to make a run. Or, rather, Chad is. Stephanie's scared shitless, and the guide isn't helping by warning that it's a fast course and they'll want to use their brakes. And that's before she knows the brakes on these sleds work about as well as those on an inner tube. When the guide tells them to go, Chad leads the way, whooping like a moron while his girlfriend white-knuckles it behind him. He slows down too much and she crashes trying to avoid a collision. "Come on!" he hollers behind him like it was her fault. She crashes again on a banked turn. "Dammit, Stephanie!" Chad screams supportively. While she disentangles herself and her sled from the fencing, she says, "Chad, I'm so scared!" "Well, don't even try or anything," he yells back helpfully. Encouraging.

Connor and Jonathan (with his goggles askew) have finished in about two minutes, so they have to go again, even though they're exhausted after just one attempt. When people talk about taking on a hill, you don't think about the hill literally beating them up, but that appears to be the case here.

The volleyball players and the bikers are at the resort. Stephanie crashes again, and says she can't do this. Chad finishes at 2:42, mostly because he was waiting for her, and mutters, "Ridiculous." He bitches to us, "It's not that bad. She's freaking letting her head get to herself." He should be more understanding, considering how hard he just drove that metaphor into the fence. Seeing two more teams arriving, he screams, "STEPHANIE, LET'S GO!" She says she can't do it, even when he hollers that two other teams have arrived. Do people think that if their partner's scared of something, the way to get through it is to try to be scarier than that thing? Because I haven't actually seen that work yet.

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Amazing Race

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